I got mad at a friend last week.  She’s not a really good friend…or even one I’ve known that long – but the potential is there.  She pissed me off – she didn’t mean to, I’m sure, but she did. I’d tell you the story, but it’s really too long and conveluted. The point is that this is usually the point in a friendship when I just decide it’s not worth the frustration and “I’m done with you”. But, then I remembered my talk with Jake yesterday – is tetherball worth losing a friendship over? Well, this is kind of that same thing. I hate when that happens. My own words come back to haunt me…..”sometimes you have to be humble instead of right”. If it wasn’t right there in black and white, I would deny that I said it.  Ugh.

I think the problem is that I tend to expect a lot from people. I know it’s not fair – not everyone is like me.  And then I get to thinking that when I set the bar that high for somebody else, I set it that high for myself.  Yikes.  Can I even live up to my own expectations?

To top it all off, I’m studying Matthew right now.  We are in Chapter 23, where Jesus is denouncing the religious leaders of his day.  Verse 3 nearly jumped off the page and smacked me in the head.

“so practice and observe whatever they tell you— but not what they do.  For they preach, but do not practice.” – Matthew 23:3, English Standard Version.

So, I guess God is trying to teach me something right now. 

*Note:  As I was writing this, the Today Show was on in the background.  They were talking about emotions and how they only last for 8 seconds, anything after that is because you want it to be that way.   <sigh>

After school today, Jake was telling me about an argument he got in with his friend over a tetherball game.  Jake was accused of cheating, which he insists he did not do.  I asked him if tetherball was worth getting into a fight with a good friend.  He said no.  So, I told him that sometimes it’s better to be humble than be right.  He emphatically disagreed with me.  I told him that I thought Jesus would agree with me. 

After a pregnant pause, he said “I think the Bible needs a new chapter”.

I reminded him that the Bible is complete, but I’m thinking I might let him go ahead and write down what he has to say.   I’ll keep you posted. 

This picture just cracked me up today.  I giggle every time I think about it.

It’s amazing how the weather affects me.  Those who suffer from SAD know exactly what I’m talking about.  The past couple of days, the sun has been shining gloriously and I’ve been filled with energy.  Today though, waking up to a gray, overcast sky made me want to just go back to bed.  I’ve still managed to be productive, but it’s been a struggle. 

In my quiet time this morning, God reminded me of Job and how he felt as though he were in the “land of gloom like thick darkness,like deep shadow without any order,where light is as thick darkness.” (Job 10:22)  To be sure, Job’s darkness was much bleaker than mine and God restored him.  Why do I think He would do any less for me?

I realize I am treating the sun like a functional savior.  If only the sun would shine or I lived in a nicer climate, my life would be perfect!  Of course that is ridiculous.  I guess I need to look beyond the glorious sunshine – to who created it – and give glory where it is due.  It is God who deserves my honor and praise – not the weatherman. 

In his second letter to the Corinthians, the apostle Paul reminds us that knowledge is light…and what is truly glorious is that God chose to show us who he is in the person and work of Jesus.   Sort of gives “light therapy” a whole new perspective, doesn’t it?

No, the sun cannot save me.  But, the Son can…and has. 

“he dawns on them like the morning light, like the sun shining forth on a cloudless morning, like rain that makes grass to sprout from the earth”. (2Samuel 23:4)

37….this is the first birthday I’ve struggled with.  I’ve never had a problem getting older…in fact, to a certain degree, I have relished it, because I do believe that with age comes wisdom.  But, this year….this year, I just feel old.  We went skiing on Saturday.  It’s been 9 years since I’ve been and my body really felt it.  It’s my own fault.  I haven’t been working out or taking care of myself the way I used to (or should).  But sometimes, just thinking about getting to the gym wears me out.  This time of year is hard, too.  I’ve always sort of gotten the “winter blues”, but this year has been particularly hard.  I find that I could fall asleep at any given moment of the day, but at 3 o’clock in the morning, my mind is racing with the most ridiculous thoughts (last night, it was “Why haven’t I worn my pink jacket lately…where is that thing anyway?…” – that’s probably another subject for another day).  Clearly, my rhythm is messed up.  I mean, I’m only 37.  That is SO not old.  Why do I feel so old? 

I was reflecting on my birthday thoughts last year (see below) and it struck me how that I no longer feel like that 16 year old inside.  This last year has brought so much change to my life.  I have a whole new set of friends, new church community, new ideas (or perhaps just more defined ones) about how I should be living my life.  On the one hand, it is refreshing and exciting….I have always known that I wanted something “more”.  It’s as though I have found my people – and I no longer feel like I am crazy—there ARE people who think the way I do about the gospel – and that Jesus calls his followers to be radically different in the world – not to just show up in the pew on Sunday.  On the other hand, it’s exhausting.  Life seemed easier when all you had to do was just check that off the list.  But, it wasn’t.

The idea of living in community makes so much sense, but is contrary to my introverted nature.  I get energy from people at the same time they are sucking the life out of me.  It’s such a strange dichotomy – and one in which I’m struggling to find a harmonious place to exist.

 So anyway….for my birthday, one of my gifts was a cool, pink armband for my iPod.  Another motivation for me to get to the gym tomorrow.  I mean, we can’t let a cool, pink armband sit at home now can we?