Lessons learned from Dr. Seuss

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I loved Dr. Seuss as a kid.  Some of my earliest memories were of my mother reading me Dr. Seuss books.  She will credit the books for helping teach me to read.  I loved the rhyming, silly stories and made up words.  But as I’ve grown up, I realize that the themes and messages from these books have made an impact on how I see the world and who I am today.  I started out thinking I would list my top 10 favorite Dr. Seuss books here, but realized it would take me forever.  Instead, here are my top 5:

  1. The Lorax.  I love the Lorax.  I love his sense of right and wrong.  I love that he recognizes the need to speak for those who have no voice.  I love that he sees the beauty of an unspoiled forest.  I love that he’s willing to stand up for what he believes in, even when it is the unpopular opinion.  But most of all, I love that maintains a hope for the future, even when it seems so dismal.  And I love that he not only believes that one person can change the world, but he empowers them to do so.
  2. The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins.  This is not a typical Dr. Seuss book.  It’s long and one of the few that doesn’t rhyme, which only intensifies the intellectualism.  But it tackles some of the themes that Dr. Seuss is so famous for: the innocence of childhood, the rejection of absolute power and the fantasic occurences that are hallmarks of Suess’ works.  It explores conflicting purposes of arbitrary (and perhaps ridiculous) rules.  And, while I have heard some criticize Bartholomew for being weak and not standing up for himself (quite the opposite of the indignant Lorax), I see him as showing a gentle obedience and politeness in the face of unfair treatment from an arrogant leader.  He shows courage and bravery as he faces punishment for something that is truly not his fault.  And at the same time, the executioner shows obedience in that he cannot do his job until Bartholomew’s hat is removed.  In the end, there seems to be a confidence that leaders—even non-elected leaders—will do the right thing.  There’s that hope again.
  3. The Sneetches.  As far as I’m concerned, this is one of Dr. Seuss’ most under-rated books.  It’s a classic tale of two groups of creatures who are separated by class.  An arbitrary star on their belly makes one group think they are superior. The star bellied Sneetches control everything while the plain bellied Sneetches are social outcasts.   The message of tolerance is obvious.  But equally as important is the idea that the social divide that the Sneetches have created for themselves is ridiculous.  Add to it unfortunate truth that people sometimes profit from conflict and harmful products and you have a brilliant story, packed with lessons for everyone.  As a child, I remember feeling like a plain bellied Sneetch.  And, now that I’m an adult, I often still feel like a plain bellied Sneetch.  Dr. Seuss taught me that it’s okay to be plain bellied…and in fact, it can be preferable.  It is important to point out though, that the Sneetches did not achieve peace until they no longer knew who was who.  But, I don’t think that Dr. Seuss was saying that we should just assimilate and become anonymous in order to get along.  I think the lesson is that most of us don’t really know which we are — star bellied or not — even if we choose to identify with one or the other.  And when we can come to the realization that we all have insecurities and needs to be accepted, that is when we can begin to move toward tolerance.
  4. Happy Birthday to You!  It’s a simple message — we are all unique and should be ourselves.  I love the pictures, the use of color and the general idea that birthdays should be celebrated in an extravagant way. 
  5. Horton Hears a Who.  This was not a favorite of mine growing up.  I liked it, but it didn’t resonate with me the way some of the previous books did.  And after the movie came out several years ago, I didn’t like how it was being used to promote political messages that simply weren’t there. ( That’s not to say it didn’t have political undertones — but it was written in 1954 and was a commentary on post World War II occupation of Japan).  However, it makes my top 5 because of the way it has impacted my son.  While the message “A person’s a person no matter how small” certainly resonated with him, given his small stature, it was not the Whos to whom he related.  Instead, he was drawn to Horton…a gentle character who courageously stood up to a mob mentality to protect what he believed in.  Very much like the Lorax. 
And there you have it.  Out of 46 books, those are my top 5.  It’s painful for me to stop there because I really could go on and on.  But really, this list encapsulates most of the major themes that Dr. Seuss wrote about:  Be yourself (and don’t be afraid to be different).  Stand up for what you believe in. Question authority.  Use your imagination.  Be silly. Be courageous.  Be loyal.  Love your friends.  Stand up for them.  Always have hope.

In retrospect, it’s really hard to say whether or not my world view was shaped in part by the writings of Dr. Seuss or if I simply related to his characters and stories because of my world view.  It doesn’t matter.  I am glad he was born.  I’m glad he wrote whimsical stories that were fun to read.  And, I’m glad I get to share them with my son.  I know he will share them with his children.


Not my typical Valentine’s Day post

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I’m sitting here in front of my computer with about ten things on my mind to write about.  I have to make a choice between posting a random mish mash of these thoughts or focusing on one topic and coming back to the others another time.  The problem is that whenever I do that, I don’t come back to the other stuff.  To spare you from reading a novel, though, I’ll stick to one topic…but to hold myself accountable to the other things, here’ s an abbreviated list of some of the things on my mind today:

  1. Whitney Houston
  2. Facebook observations
  3. Religious Freedom
  4. Changes

They are all timely, but I’ve decided to focus on Valentine’s Day.

If you’ve known me longer than 365 days, you know that I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day.  It’s one of those “holidays” that people either love or hate or love to hate.  Recently, the Oatmeal posted this comic (warning:  colorful language) and I promised not to rant about Valentine’s Day this year.  If you’re curious about my position, you can read my Valentine’s Day – Bah Humbug post here.  And, then this morning, I asked my 12 year old if he would be my Valentine and he said “I don’t celebrate” and went on to parrot all of the things I have said about Valentine’s Day over the years. My first thought was “Oh no…I’ve ruined him”.  My second thought was “Oh no….my future daughter in law is going to hate me”.  Now, she might hate me anyway, but I decided it won’t be about this issue.  I very seriously told him that unless he is lucky enough to find a partner who lets him off the hook at Valentine’s Day, he needs to suck it up.  Sometimes we do things just to make other people happy.

Truth be told, Valentine’s Day is important to me too.  But, for a different reason.  It marks the culmination of Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week.  CHD Awareness Week is an annual campaign designed to help educate the public about Congenital Heart Defects. The movement was founded in Feb 2000, just a few months after my own son was born with a Congential Heart Defect.  I have had the priviledge of watching the movement grow into an  international coalition of families, individuals, non-profit organizations, support groups, and health professionals who are dedicated to increasing public awareness of Congenital Heart Defects and Childhood Heart Disease.

The fact is that congenital heart defects are common.  In fact, it’s considered by the CDC to be the most common birth defect, affecting nearly 40,000 births in the US every year.  Worldwide, it is a leading cause of birth-defect related deaths.  Despite all this, a relatively small amount of funding is currently available for parent/patient educational services, research, and support. Even more disturbing is that most states do not require newborn screening for some of the most critical heart defects.  The thing is that many times, heart defects will not show signs or symptoms right away.  Without newborn screening and parent education, babies are at a much greater risk of death or disability from their condition than children who are diagnosed within the first 24-48 hours of birth. My own son’s story is a perfect example of how early detection and palliative treatment can save lives.  If he had not been pre-mature, he very likely could have been sent home and we would have had no idea that he had a life threatening condition.

Pulse Oximetry Screening is a simple, non-invasive way to test a the oxygen levels in a baby’s blood.  While this screening does not replace a complete physical examiniation and it does not detect all heart defects, it can alert doctors to a potential problem and the baby can get the additional testing he or she needs.

I am proud to live in a State that has already passed legislation for newborn screening for congenital heart defects.  But, if you don’t live in Maryland, New Jersey or Indiana, it’s possible that babies in your state are not getting this simple test.  If you are pregnant or know somebody who is or might become pregnant, you should care about this.  Since we all probably fall into one of those three categories, we all should care about this.

If you want more information on congenital heart defects or CHD Awareness Week, visit the Congenital Heart Information Network.  These folks have been working hard for years to raise awareness and their website is full of information on CHDs and ways that you can get involved.

CHDs are not something that happen to other people’s kids or people you don’t know.  If you are reading this post you know somebody with a CHD.

And that’s why Valentine’s Day is important to me.  Well, that and less complaining, more sexy rumpus….

Jake has Tetralogy of Fallot.  This picture was taken when he was 3 and full of energy.  It wasn’t always that way, though.  You can read his story by clicking on the picture.

My view of the Occupy DC raid

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This past Saturday, the National Park Police moved in on the Occupy DC camp at McPherson Square to “further enforce no camping rules”.  Jake just happens to have a class in a nearby building on Saturday mornings, so I wandered down to the park to see what was going on.

First some diclosure:  I have not been an active supporter of the Occupy movement.  However, I do consider myself part of the 99% that they represent.  I was excited when they first began protesting in October, but as the months have gone by, I just have never really understood what their goals are.  And, this is often the complaint I hear from people.  A few weeks ago, I was getting lunch in a restaurant adjacent to McPherson Square and a group of people from the camp were meeting.  I overheard them talking about what their message was — and the responses were all over the place.  That was nearly 4 months after they had arrived in DC.

During that time though, from my standpoint, they have acted with civility and have generally been peaceful in their protests.  And, despite an appearance of not having a cohesive message (which, by the way, I know they would disagree with me on),  what I do know is that there is a general unrest about the gap between the rich and everyone else in this country and that it trickles down into all areas of our lives. They are frustrated that people are accepting this as the status quo.  And, I agree with these sentiments.  I also am a strong believer in our First Amendment rights, so I while I have not been an active supporter of the movement, I would classify myself as a sympathizer.

Piles of clothing and bedding taken from tents could be seen throughout the park.

It gets complicated though when you start looking at how these long term gatherings begin impacting the surroundings.  McPherson Square had recently undergone a lengthy makeover, costing nearly half a million dollars. The funds came from the federal stimulus package which directed money toward renovating National Parks nationwide.  The park was beautiful, with new sidewalks and benches, grass and flowers.  Now, after 4 months of people camping there, it is gross.  And, DC residents are angry about it.  I heard a guy, who was arguing with protesters yesterday make a comment that they were destroying “my  city”.  This was met with outcry as even I thought to myself that nobody can lay claim to this city.  This is our nation’s capital.  It’s everyone’s city.

What frustrates Occupy DC folks — and me, as I stood by watching — is that the rules have changed.  While camping in the park has never been allowed, Park Police have been cautious about citing anyone because of First Amendment Rights.  They argue that the core of the Occupiers First Amendment activity is that they occupythe site.  In other words, “occupying” the land in question is a core aspect of the group’s message.  The

Onlookers observing the raid on McPherson Square

occupation is in itself an act of expression and is therefore protected by the First Amendment. The Supreme Court disagreed though (based on a decision in a similar 1984 case, Clark v. Community for Creative Nonviolence) and the Occupiers were notified that the NPS would begin enforcing the no camping rules at the park.  They claimed it would not be an eviction and that tents  would still be allowed as long as nobody was sleeping in them.

So, early Saturday morning, NPS police moved in to enforce those rules.  I was not on the scene until about 10, so there had been a good 5 hours of activity before I got there.  The streets around the park were closed off, but we were allowed to walk.  Fences had been erected around the park, but at the time I was there, you were still allowed to walk around inside the park.  There were piles of bedding, garbage and other items around the park and a group of people in hazmat suits were going through each tent.  That seemed a little excessive to me, but reports are that there were dead mice and rats and other hazerdous material.  What was upsetting to the protesters was that there were empty tents that were being taken down.  Protesters felt they had been lied to and from where I was standing, it seemed they had been.  Additionally, there were police in riot gear who were stationed around the park, which also seemed excessive.  I know that they need to protect the public and try to keep the peace, but these people do not have a history of violence.  On the other hand, it seemed to me that there were a handful of protestors who were doing their best to encite police.  They were screaming profanities in their faces and calling them obsenaties as they stood stone-faced. There were a couple of times that arguments broke out between protestors and onlookers and the police would quietly move in those directions, but as long as I was there, they did not interfere.

 

In the hour and a half that I was on the scene, I did feel tensions begin to escalate, mostly on behalf of the protestors who were, I believe, justifiably frustrated with how this was all playing out.

One of the more tense moments occured when an onlooker began heckling the occupiers.  He said he considered himself a “1-percenter” although he clearly wasn’t.  He simply had a different political point of view.  The thing is, the Occupy DC people are smart.  If you are going to engage in a debate with them, you better be as smart and as quick or you will look like an idiot.  This guy sure did.

After I left and the day wore on, things began to deteriorate.  There were several arrests and a police officer was taken to the hospital after having a brick thrown in his face.

I don’t know what happens to the movement in DC now.  The Occupy folks sounded determined to continue, but I’m not sure how much more patience the public has.  But, it is clear to me that they are driven by a sense of justice and that they care about this country and the American people.  And each other.

Free Lunch Friday

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This week’s lunch conversation included Jersey Shore characters and thier antics.  One girl in my office pointed out that…

They’re like old.  They should know better than to be acting like this…

When I asked how old exactly, she said that one of the guys is “like 30 or 31”.

29 year old me….

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Today is my 41st birthday.  I love birthdays — mine and everyone else’s.  I think we should celebrate all month, instead of just one day.   Last night, I had a group of women over — not to celebrate my birthday — but just to celebrate our friendships – most of them very new.  I didn’t even really want anyone to know it was my birthday and didn’t include it on the invitation, but a couple of people knew already.  One of the women brought me a cake — It said “Happy 29th Birthday”.  I laughed and said that it was the 12th anniversary of my 29th birthday.  But, as I reflected on it a little bit, I realized that there really isn’t any part of me that wishes to be 29 again.  In fact, when I was 29 — I was at one of the lowest points in my life.  Here’s what 41 year old me has to say to 29 year old me.

Dear Stephanie,

You’re 29 today.  I know that life isn’t what you thought it would be.  28 started out so awesome.  Remember that surprise party your husband threw for you — at Oregano’s in Scottsdale?  What a great night.  You were surrounded by friends and were actually in awe of all the people that were there.  You and your friend Julie had the time of your lives — she made you laugh so hard, you nearly peed your pants.  But, that was pretty much par for the course when you were with her.  You were healthy and happy.  Sure, there were a few bumps in the road – you had decided you wanted to have a baby.  That proved to be a little harder than it seemed.  You grieved the lost pregnancies, but it finally happened — and 28 was the year you became a mother!  And, then it all seemed to crumble.  Your baby was premature and had a heart defect. Your best friend, Julie was diagnosed with lung cancer.  You begin to wonder if your marriage is going to survive the stress.  Here you are — 29 years old and wondering if the things that bring you the most joy are going to be taken from you.

I’m not going to lie.  You think it’s bad now and it’s actually going to get worse.  You will see your baby go through 2 more heart surgeries.  You will beg God not to make you bury and infant.  Just when you think things are getting better with his health, he will start having seizures.  You will lose your best friend.  You will have to leave the job you love because you just can’t do it, you have to put your family first.  Basically, 29 is going to suck.  Luckily, we don’t have crystal balls, so you don’t have to know what’s in store and you just keep swimming, just keep swimming (oh wait…that movie hasn’t come out yet.  You’ll get it eventually).

But, I’m here to tell you that it gets better.  Your marriage will not only survive — it will get stronger.  Your son, the one who is so developmentally delayed right now, is going to thrive.  You already know he’s smart.  What you don’t know is that he’s an artist.  A musician.  And, he’s funny.  He is so funny.  He’s also a lot like you.  He’s going to challenge you and frustrate you, but he’s the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.  All of this pain and  heartache is someday going to be a distant memory.  And, yes…there is going to come a day when you don’t even think about his heart defect.

Losing Julie is going to be really hard.  There won’t be a day that goes by that you don’t think of her.  And of course, you’ll never replace her in your heart, but there are going to be people who “get you” and make you laugh just as much as she did.  You haven’t even met some of the best friends you’re ever going to have.

It’s not always going to be easy.  Money will be really tight.  You’ll wonder how the bills will get paid.  But, I promise you that you’ll always be provided for.  And, there will come a time when the money won’t run out before the next paycheck comes.

Best of all, the relationships that are so strained right now?  They are going to get better.  They’ll be restored.  The resentment you feel in your heart is going to be replaced by forgiveness and love.  I know you don’t believe me now, but it will happen.  It won’t happen overnight — it will take years.  Be patient.

That heartache you feel right now over Jake?  You’ll feel it again, but in a very different way.  You’ll open your heart and love.  And you will  lose.  Your heart will break into a million pieces, but it will change you in ways you could never imagine.  It will make you a better person.

So, the years ahead aren’t going to be easy.  But, they won’t break you.  You are strong.  You will be surrounded by amazing people who love you and will lift you up when you’re in a pit.

And, when you turn 41, you’ll look around and realize that life is better than it’s ever been.

“I am lucky
to be what I am!
Thank goodness I’m not
just a clam or a ham
Or a dusty old jar of
sour gooseberry jam!
I am what I am! That’s a
great thing to be!
If I say so myself,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!”
–Dr. Suess

Beautiful Morning

/ Stephanie / 1 Comment

I have a bunch of things going through my head this morning.  The day started out on a bad note.  I woke up tired and my 12 year old was acting, well…like a 12 year old.  It boiled down to the fact that he didn’t know where his homework was and was blaming me for moving it.  I kept telling him that I was sure he had already put it in his binder, but he was more intent on arguing with me (which, according to NPR is normal and a sign that he has a bright future).  I told him that I hadn’t touched it and that when he found it in his backpack, he could apologize to me.  Well, he found it — but no apology yet.  He will later, I’m sure.  Didn’t you hate it when you realized your parents were right — when you were CERTAIN they were wrong?  I didn’t rub it in — just let him live in the tension.  I did tell him that admitting when you’re wrong is a sign of being grown up. 

Then, I spilled my breakfast shake on the front of my white shirt, 5 minutes after I should have been walking out the door.  I quickly changed (thank goodness for casual Friday) and ran out the door only to be stopped in my tracks by one of the most glorious sunrises I have ever seen. 

It was if God painted the sky just for me with a note that said:

Dear Stephanie,

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Love, the Creator of the Universe

And apparently, I’m not the only one moved by that sunrise.  My Facebook feed blew up with pictures of this spectacular display from friends all over the Mid-Atlantic. 

So, all of the other things going on in my head this morning no longer seem like much of a big deal. 

This song is perfect for a day like today…or any day.  Enjoy – it’s one of my favorites – and Good Morning.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

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If you are reading my blog for the first time, you should know that I’ve just broken up with Blogger and migrated everything back to WordPress.  So, if you are reading from the beginning, it will seem a little random, especially since I have a “welcome to my blog” post seemingly out of nowhere.  I’ll be doing some tweaks as I explore all of the amazing things that WordPress will allow me to do.  Thanks for reading, liking and following.  If you’ve been down both paths with me, thanks for your patience and for sticking it out. 

And, again…welcome to my blog.

 

 

 

Project 366

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Project 365 is a movement in which people exercise self-discipline by commiting to do something every day.  For many, it means they take and post a picture every day for a year.  This is a leap year, so there are actualy 366 days in the year.  I’m not promising that I’ll post a picture every day — or that I’ll even post a picture I took that day, but I will be posting more pictures because I think the saying is true — a pictures is worth a thousand words.  I have found that by looking at other people’s pictures, you begin to see the world in different ways.

This is one of my favorite pictures that I’ve ever taken.  I often joke that I’m late for work because I saw a picture that I just had to take.  This was taken on one of those days.  It was a beautiful, autumn morning.  The sun was coming up and the fog was dancing on the Potomac River.  I am standing in Georgetown Waterfront Park, looking toward Arlington, VA.

Fog on the Potomac

Resolutions

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It’s that time of year — we shake off the old and get ready for a new year.  We discuss our new year’s resolutions  — how we aspire to change or make ourselves better.  All of the athletic equipment goes on sale and health clubs have “no joining fees”.  Gym rats complain because come Monday, their “spot” will be taken by a newbie.  We resolve to get organized. 

Last year, a friend of mine said that New Year’s Resolutions are a great way to say that you aren’t good enough.  I decided to ditch the word “resolution” and call it a “commitment”.  I decided I would run a race every month in 2011.  I did great until I hurt my foot in July  — again — and just got frustrated.  And down on myself.  And feeling that I wasn’t good enough.

So, I’m here to call BS on resolutions and commitments and anything else that says “I’m not good enough”.  Instead of making commitments to lose weight, work out and get organized, etc….I think we should all look at the ways that we shine — and just resolve to do that more.  Don’t get me wrong…I think it’s fine to want to lose weight, get organized, better yourself.  But, don’t try to change who you are in pursuit of those things.  I have come to believe that until we are totally comfortable with who we are — our authentic self — then it’s nearly impossible to change the things that we want to change.

I have been asking myself some questions lately.  What do people like about me?  What do I get compliments on?  What do love doing?

People often comment on my smile.  I’m going to smile more.

People comment on my laugh.  I’m going to laugh more.

People feel welcome in my home.  And, I love having people in my home.  I’m going to have more parties.

I love to sing.  I’m going to sing more.  Not necessarily to perform.  Just around the house, in my car, wherever I am.

I love to take pictures.  My wonderful husband bought me my second Canon Rebel (because I *gasp* lost mine).  I’m going to take more pictures.  I might even take a class (well, I will take a class because I promised I would).

I love to write.  Maybe I’ll write more.  Maybe I’ll write about more things.  I don’t know and I’ve learned my lesson about making promises to update my blog on a regular basis.

I love to read.  I had forgotten that I love to read, but I do.  I might read more.

I love traveling and seeing new things.  I plan to continue to explore our new surroundings and spending quality time with my family.

I love to be spontaneous.  To just wake up in the morning and say, “hey, let’s go do this…”.  I love to be able to just invite people over at the last minute.  I want to do that more.

That’s a start.  I’m under no pressure to be something I’m not.  I’m just setting the bar higher on the things I love to do anyway.  Call it being more intentional.  If it has to be a resolution, it’s this simple:  I’m going to be the best me I can be. 

Happy New Year. 

Hope

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This morning, there is a family grieving the loss of their infant baby girl. Anna Joy was born with a major heart defect. Just like our son (although not the same defect). She immediately had to endure a surgery that could potentially save her life — until the next surgery. Just like our son. As I have read their blog over the past couple of weeks, I have been overwhelmed by the memories. I know what it’s like to see your baby hooked up to every contraption imagineable. I know what it’s like to watch helplessly as they are wheeled away to surgery. I know what it’s like to be in the hospital during the holidays. I know what it’s like to watch the doctors scratch their heads and declare that there is little more they can do for your baby. I know what it’s like to cry out to God, “Please don’t make me bury an infant”. What I don’t know is what it’s like to come home from the hospital without my baby. It’s times like this that I am overwhelmed with “survivor’s guilt”. I’ve experienced it other times as well as dear friends of mine have lost their children…and each time I wonder why. Why was their child taken and not mine? I remember finding very little comfort in well-meaning Christians telling me that God’s ways are perfect. In fact, it makes me mad. “NO!”, I want to scream. This is not perfect. Death is not perfect. The God I believe in is grieving along with me. This was not how it was meant to be. Creation, as God intended, has been broken.

I’m not saying that God’s ways are not perfect. As Christians, we believe that He works out all things for good (Romans 8:28). But, sometimes we cannot see the good, especially when we are in the midst of heartbreak. I once heard an analogy about a quilt. We see our lives as the front of the quilt, with just the patterns showing. But if we look under the backing, we would see all of the threads and knots that were needed to make the finished product. Still, not much consolation to a grieving parent.

And, then I remember Christmas. The day that we celebrate the birth of God’s son, who was to be the Savior of the world. Jesus was sent to right the wrongs and restore all things to perfection – to the way God intended them to be. To abolish death (2 Timothy 1:10) To give us eternal life so that we would never again have to grieve death (John 3:16).

Does any of this make it easier to grieve the death of a child? Absolutely not. But, it gives us hope. A reminder that there is light in darkness (John 1:15).

Please lift this family up in thought and prayer. Because as a friend put it, in comparison to this, we don’t actually have any problems. Light a candle tonight and say to the darkness, “we beg to differ” (Mary Jo Leddy).

And then listen to this song, written by a friend of ours, about the love, peace and joy that Jesus brings.

Wish you a merry Christmas – Aaron Spiro