This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. ~1 John 1:5
God
Life according to Jake
It’s been hard having a 13 year old these past few days. In the past, I’ve been able to avoid talking about national tragedies by avoiding turning on the television. I remember being so grateful that he was only 2 on 9/11 because I had no idea what I would have said to him.
Then, Friday happened and I had no idea what to say to him. But, I had to say something. I quickly realized that you don’t have to have an answer about “why?”, but the most important thing to do is listen and encourage them to talk about their feelings. And, as we talked, I found that my sweet son was being as comforting to me as I was trying to be to him.
I was trying to explain to him about how I react to things — I told him about a character in The Secret Life of Bees that I relate to. May Boatright is a complicated personality. Highly sensitive to the pain of others, she carries the weight of the world in her soul. She built a wailing wall in her backyard and goes there when she is upset. And then I told him that I often joke that I need a wailing wall of my own in the backyard.
He looked at me and said, “Mom, you don’t need to build a wailing wall. You have one right here”, and he patted his chest. “God knows what’s in your heart”.
Tears filled my eyes as I looked at this child, who has no idea how wise he is, even though sometimes he still puts his pants on backwards. I thanked him and told him that this was a conversation I will never forget.
I’ve said it before….I take no credit for how awesome he is. But, I do like to share the insights he has. Usually they are funny and light-hearted. Today, I hope his wise words can bring someone else comfort as well.
Feel free to use this post as your own wailing wall. My son and I would be privileged to join you in prayer for everyone affected by the Newtown shooting. And, that means everyone.
The Gospel and Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes
Let me start by saying that I am not a cook. I can cook and I do manage to make some decent meals, thanks to cookbooks and other people’s recipes. For the past several years, we have had groups of people meeting at our house regularly, so I’m always on the lookout for new things to serve. I break a cardinal rule though and serve things that I’ve never actually made (or even tried) before I feed them to others. Fortunately, this has never really been a problem.
The weekly meal started in Olympia as a group of people who all went to church together gathered weekly to share life with one another outside of Sunday worship. In the beginning, many of us didn’t even know each other at all — we just happened to live geographically close to one another. Food has a way of bringing people together. Think about it….put a group of strangers in a room together. The extroverts will be able to do okay, but it can still be awkward. If you are an introverted kind of person, it can be downright painful. Put that same group of strangers in a room together and add food or beverages and it instantly becomes a party.
When we began hosting these weekly gatherings, I used the meal as a way to protect myself…to give myself something to do and focus on because I am terrible at small talk. As we all began to get to know one another more intimately, I began to really enjoy serving others, feeding them food they really enjoyed in a welcoming atmosphere. This wasn’t a church “small group” per se, as we regularly invited friends and neighbors who didn’t necessarily go to our church — or to church at all. And when we had new people join us, the meal was a much better ice breaker than any kind of cheesy ice-breaker game or question (although those do have value in certain situations).
You see, I believe that meals are a way to remind us of our daily need for God both on physical and spiritual level. Jesus calls us to remember him and his sacrifice through a meal that Christians call communion. Not only that, one of the first things Jesus does after being resurrected from the dead is to break bread with the disciples that he meets on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:30). The next morning, when he appeared to the rest of the disciples, he asked them, “Have you anything here to eat?” (Luke 24-41b). After he ate (they gave him broiled fish….), he went on to speak the most important truths of the Bible to them (read Luke 24:44-49 and you’ll see what I mean). When we eat together, we commune around these truths. The word itself is both a noun and a verb. The noun refers to a group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities — a synonym being community. The verb refers to sharing one’s intimate thoughts or feelings with someone — a synonym being to communicate or converse. So the meal, to me, is a time that we nourish our bodies with food, but we also use that time to share our thoughts and feelings with other people, which leads to building a community. And, in our fast food nation, I think this is somewhat lost on people.
In addition to eating, I think it’s important essential to celebrate God’s goodness and grace. I desire to extravagantly bless others as a way to display God’s glory. When I serve people, I want to serve them in the best way that I possibly can. This might be by preparing an extravagant meal, opening the best bottle of wine or just knowing somebody’s favorite thing and serving that. When you consider Jesus’ first miracle (John 2:1-11), it is significant that when Jesus turned the water into wine, it was the best wine. When the disciples gave Jesus a piece of broiled fish back in Luke 24, it was probably the most extravagant thing they had.
Which brings me to the Maple Bacon Breakfast cupcakes. We have brunch with a group of people on a monthly-ish basis. Bacon is always a staple and it’s usually a topic of conversation — that is, how much everyone loves it. So, when I saw Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes on Pinterest recently, I knew that was my next brunch item. I pinned it to my recipe board and when I went to make my shopping list, was dismayed to realize it was only a picture and there was no recipe. So, I searched for a recipe that sounded do-able. This morning, I got up early (not my favorite) and realized that we did not have any butter and had to change my plan. I decided to use pancake batter for the “cupcake” portion, but was not sure it would rise, so it actually turned into a science project (also not my favorite).
Did I mention I’m not a cook?
For a second, I almost scrapped the entire project. But, I was honestly driven out of my desire to provide something for this group that they would love. To be extravagant. To bless them. So, I winged it. And, they turned out fantastic. Here’s the recipe:
Start by cooking up some bacon. I wanted to use applewood smoked bacon, but we couldn’t find it. I would definitely use thick sliced, premium bacon. I think I did about 12 pieces.
2 cups pancake batter (it doesn’t matter what…I used some that I had bought in Mexico last month and never used. I actually put it in a carry on bag to bring home and it wasn’t until the TSA Agent started looking at the seals that I thought maybe it was a bad idea….”Hi Dad? I know I’m 41 years old, but I got arrested for having pancake batter in my carry-on. And, I’m in Mexico. I think they think it’s cocaine. … Hello?…”)
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
Sift the dry ingredients together. I think sifting is important when using the batter, because it made them light and fluffy.
Then add the following to the dry ingredients:
1 cup milk
2 eggs
Bacon grease from the bacon you just fried. This was an afterthought and I have no idea how much I used…maybe 2 tablespoons?
2 tablespoons maple syrup. This was also an afterthought as I wanted the cupcake portion to have a sweet and savory quality. I think it was the perfect amount, but I would make sure to use pure maple syrup for best results. Grade B might even be better, but it’s hard to find sometimes.
Minced bacon. I don’t know how much I used — maybe 1/2 cup? It doesn’t matter. It’s bacon. More is better.
Mix all of these ingredients together enough to blend them but not too much. Pour into cupcake papers and bake. I experimented with the time….I have a convection oven that converts for me automatically. I put the first batch in at 350 for 18 minutes. This converted to 325 for 16 minutes. I watched them closely and ended up taking them out at about 13 minutes. I think all ovens are different, so just keep an eye on them and use a toothpick to determine if they are done.
I ended up making 2 batches, which made 24 standard size cupcakes and an additional 12 mini cupcakes.
Maple Frosting – this is not my own recipe…I just found it online
1 stick of butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons maple syrup (again, I used Grade A, but Grade B might be better as it’s a little darker and has a richer flavor).
I topped them with a piece of bacon and voila!
Peace to you. And, be extravagant!
Hope
This morning, there is a family grieving the loss of their infant baby girl. Anna Joy was born with a major heart defect. Just like our son (although not the same defect). She immediately had to endure a surgery that could potentially save her life — until the next surgery. Just like our son. As I have read their blog over the past couple of weeks, I have been overwhelmed by the memories. I know what it’s like to see your baby hooked up to every contraption imagineable. I know what it’s like to watch helplessly as they are wheeled away to surgery. I know what it’s like to be in the hospital during the holidays. I know what it’s like to watch the doctors scratch their heads and declare that there is little more they can do for your baby. I know what it’s like to cry out to God, “Please don’t make me bury an infant”. What I don’t know is what it’s like to come home from the hospital without my baby. It’s times like this that I am overwhelmed with “survivor’s guilt”. I’ve experienced it other times as well as dear friends of mine have lost their children…and each time I wonder why. Why was their child taken and not mine? I remember finding very little comfort in well-meaning Christians telling me that God’s ways are perfect. In fact, it makes me mad. “NO!”, I want to scream. This is not perfect. Death is not perfect. The God I believe in is grieving along with me. This was not how it was meant to be. Creation, as God intended, has been broken.
I’m not saying that God’s ways are not perfect. As Christians, we believe that He works out all things for good (Romans 8:28). But, sometimes we cannot see the good, especially when we are in the midst of heartbreak. I once heard an analogy about a quilt. We see our lives as the front of the quilt, with just the patterns showing. But if we look under the backing, we would see all of the threads and knots that were needed to make the finished product. Still, not much consolation to a grieving parent.
And, then I remember Christmas. The day that we celebrate the birth of God’s son, who was to be the Savior of the world. Jesus was sent to right the wrongs and restore all things to perfection – to the way God intended them to be. To abolish death (2 Timothy 1:10) To give us eternal life so that we would never again have to grieve death (John 3:16).
Does any of this make it easier to grieve the death of a child? Absolutely not. But, it gives us hope. A reminder that there is light in darkness (John 1:15).
Please lift this family up in thought and prayer. Because as a friend put it, in comparison to this, we don’t actually have any problems. Light a candle tonight and say to the darkness, “we beg to differ” (Mary Jo Leddy).
And then listen to this song, written by a friend of ours, about the love, peace and joy that Jesus brings.
Loving the unlovable
There’s a character in The Secret Life of Bees that I relate to. May Boatright is a complicated personality. Highly sensitive to the pain of others, she carries the weight of the world in her soul. She built a wailing wall in her backyard and goes there when she is upset. I often joke that I need a wailing wall of my own.
A few years ago, I started praying that God would break my heart for the things that break His. It’s one of those “be careful what you ask for” prayers because sometimes the pain of the world and the people around me are crushing. I’m not meaning to sound dramatic and I’m certainly not going to drown myself in a river over the things that weigh on my mind and heart, but sometimes it is exhausting.
For several weeks, I have been exhausted by the Casey Anthony trial and discussion surrounding it. Let me first be very clear — my personal feeling is that she probably had something to do with her daughter’s death. But, our justice system is one that puts the burden of proof on the prosecution — everyone is innocent until proven guilty. It is my personal belief that the jury took their job and the instructions given to them about reasonable doubt very seriously. And, I suspect this case will haunt them forever. I was obviously not in the courtroom and did not watch the trial on television, but I do know that there was never a cause of death determined. I don’t know how a person can be convicted of murder when there is no cause of death. All of the evidence was circumstantial and as unfair as that may seem at times like this, a person simply cannot be convicted of a crime based on circumstantial evidence. How incredibly ironic it was that this verdict came down just hours after we gathered together in communities across this country to celebrate the Declaration of Independence and the freedoms that we enjoy as a result of that historical document. How often do we hear of innocent people being held prisoner in other countries because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. We often regard those countries as barbaric and backwards. Our judicial system is not perfect and I believe that sometimes criminals go free on technicalities or by lack of evidence. We are right be enraged at the injustice of it all, but at the same time, innocent people often spend years — decades — even lifetimes — in prison. Where is the outrage when it’s discovered that somebody has been wrongly convicted of a crime? What about when we discover, after it’s too late, that somebody was put to death for a crime they did not commit? Where are the mobs of chanting people then? And then I wonder why Caylee Anthony’s story gripped the nation and stories like Christian Choate’s don’t spark a greater public outrage (I’m not saying that there isn’t outrage…just that it didn’t make the news cycle in the same kind of way). Believe me, my soul aches for what Caylee endured at the hands of somebody she trusted. But, that’s not the only thing that makes my heart heavy.
In the days and weeks that have followed the shocking verdict, I think that the most disturbing things I have heard is professing Christians saying things like “I hope she burns in hell”. Often they are the same kinds people who attend evangelical churches and wear WWJD bracelets. Really, I do not think that Jesus would say, “I hope she burns in hell”. In fact, I am 100% certain that He would not say that. The reality is, if you are a Christian, you believe that Jesus came to save us from a destiny just like that. It is the very basis for why we worship Jesus. On Sundays, we lift up our hands and praise Him for the work that he did on the cross. A work that, in a very uncomfortable way, looks a lot like the picture of Casey Anthony leaving the jail in the dark of the night. Guilty. And yet set free. Now, I realize there are fundamental differences — not the least of which is that nobody has paid the price for the crime that was committed. It can be argued that many have paid a price. But, for the crime itself, nobody has been held accountable. And, I think that is what outrages people the most.
But my point is this:
As Christians, we are called to love God and love others as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:28-31). And, if only we could live up to those two seemingly simple commandments, we would not have situations like babies being found dead in a swamp. But at the same time, wishing somebody eternal damnation in hell is just something that my heart cannot even fathom. Because I think that if you really believe in hell — and you really take the words of Jesus seriously as He calls His followers to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:16-20), then you would be on your knees praying for Casey Anthony’s soul. Because if you look back at that verse in Mark — Jesus doesn’t command us to just love the loveable neighbors. He just simply said we are to love our neighbors. And by neighbors, He meant everybody.
I don’t even know how to end this post because it’s so complicated. I don’t even know why I feel so compelled to post this in the first place. I know how I feel, but I don’t have any answers — especially for people who don’t believe what I believe about Jesus and God and Heaven and hell. What I can tell you is that I believe that God’s heart breaks for what happened to Caylee. But, I also believe that He grieves for the way that people who claim to be His followers behave in the aftermath of such a tragedy. We must think before we speak…because I think that our words reflect the state of our hearts (Luke 6:45). And, we cannot testify to a God of forgiveness and love if our words are hateful…about anyone.
De-captivating
A couple of years ago, my husband gave me a copy of the book “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge. He had read “Wild at Heart” and felt like it really encapsulated how he felt as a man. The book has been on my shelf since then. I did try to read it, but the first couple of pages did not grab me, so that was the end of that (I was probably distracted by something shiny). Since then, I keep getting encouraged by various women in my life to read it. Last week, a good friend mentioned that she had the book on CD and lent it to me. I spend a lot of time in the car and listening to books on CD is ideal for me.
I hate it. There, I said it. I don’t get it – I find myself looking at my CD player and saying “Whaaaaaat?” – and because of this, I feel like there must be something wrong with me. I don’t relate to the authors and I think their message is completely skewed by their own experience. I kept wondering how a Christian woman outside of the United States would feel about this book – with all of the references to movies, novels, songs and celebrities, I felt it was very ethnocentric….which Jesus is not. I’ve not taken the time to look up all of the scripture references, but even they don’t sit well with me. I believe the authors hearts are in the right place but nothing they say resonates with me.
As a child, I never wanted to be a princess or dreamed of my knight in shining armor rescuing me from…whatever it was that I needed rescuing. I don’t read romance novels, don’t listen to sappy love songs and I can’t stand “chick flicks”. Listening to this book, I began to wonder if I really am even a woman! At the same time, I am really uncomfortable with the idea of men as rescuers. How unfair is it to say that my husband can rescue me? Worse yet, how unfair is it to expect him to rescue me? He can’t rescue me — only Jesus can rescue me. The pages of scripture make this abundantly clear. So, if I expect a man to rescue me, I am only setting myself up for disappointment — and my husband for failure. Isn’t that man-centered, not God-centered theology?
And speaking of pride, these statements set me back: “Eve was given to the world as the incarnation of a beautiful, captivating God…” “Eve incarnates the Beauty of God and she gives life to the world.” Maybe I’m being nit-picky, but I don’t think that women give life to the world. I think they bring life into the world, but only God gives life to the world.
The romantic view of God that is presented makes me uncomfortable as well. The authors refer to God as a “Lover”. I do not disagree that God loves us with an everlasting love — the Bible tells us so! –, but I think we must also look at how the Bible defines love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV), the Apostle Paul tells us that love is patient, kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, irritable, or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Now, let’s look at how the Bible defines “Romance”. Wait, there is no definition of romance in Scripture. A search of the word at Miiriam-Webster Online offers many definitions of the word including “something (as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact”. One definition in Dictionary.com is “a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention”. To be fair, I even checked Easton’s Bible Dictionary and the word is “not contained in the index”. So, while in our popular culture, we use the words “love” and “romance” interchangeably, I don’t think it’s biblical to to have a romantic view of God. I think a romantic view is a low view. So, imagine my shock when I heard them say that “the root of holiness is Romance”. I nearly drove off the road. I had to scan back and listen again, just to make sure I heard correctly. Then, when I got home, I got out the book and sure enough, there it is on page 113. “The root of all holiness is Romance”. Wow. I am not even sure what to say to that. But, God has something to say about it. 1 Peter 1:15-16 says, “but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” God is holy. We are only holy because He is. It has nothing to do with romance.
Finally, the box that the authors put men and women in is insulting! I think men and women each have masculine and feminine characteristics – just as God does. It’s unfair to suggest that only women can extol the gentle attributes of God — mercy, grace, love, tenderness, and “fierce devotion”….and that men hold the masculine attributes — God’s justice, strength, wrath. Certainly, men and women are separate and distinct and were created for different purposes. But, again…this book left me feeling worse about myself as a woman than I did before!
To be clear…I realize I am probably over-analyzing the book. And, I don’t mean to insult anyone who loved the book — I know there are MANY! I guess I found myself disappointed after all of the hype. But, as I reflect somewhat, I realize that had I read this book when it was first given to me, I probably would have just been confused. I suspect I would have had the same uneasy feeling about what it was saying, but I wouldn’t have known why. God has taught me so much in the past couple of years — I understand scripture better and I have learned to listen to the Holy Spirit more. So, in God’s providence, I didn’t explore this book until now. Now, I really understand that my identity is in Christ alone…and not how any book, other than the Bible, tells me I am or should be.
Adventures of A Wild Pixie 