This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. ~1 John 1:5
Jesus
ReThinking Lent – Day 7: Wonder
Every day, I wonder. I wonder what the guy in the car next to me on the GW Parkway was doing this morning as he was snapping his fingers in front of his heater vents (is this some sort of “clapper” method of turning your car heater on)? I wonder why on earth people decided to build their house in that particular spot. I wonder why people spit in public. I wonder why some people smell like mothballs. I wonder what babies think when we stick our faces within inches of theirs and speak a strange language in a high pitched voice. I wonder why my dog barks to be let out at 6am on weekends but not on weekdays. I wonder if the Broncos would have beat the 49’ers in the Superbowl. And, I wonder why Opening Day of baseball season isn’t a national holiday.
These are everyday wonders — curiosities, if you will. There are bigger wonders, too. I put these on my “questions I have for God when I get to Heaven” list. This list is comprised mostly of the “Why are things not fair” and the “I don’t understand” variety. Why was *my* child born with a heart defect? And, why did *their* child die having the same surgery that saved my child’s life? Why do we have to suffer so as we get old? Why do teenagers talk back? And of course the “What on earth does (insert scripture verse here) actually mean? And just today, I found out that somebody we knew passed away last week. It made me wonder if I was always as kind to him as I should have been. The truth is that when I actually do have the opportunity to ask God these questions, the answers likely won’t matter anymore.
And, then there is the wonder of God’s creation.
I remember being in 9th grade and having these mind-blowing discussions with a friend of mine about the universe and how it never ends. We would go round and round about how it *has* to end. Nothing goes on forever. But, it does! And, I can’t wrap my mind around it. Just like I can’t wrap my mind around God. Regardless of whether you believe that God created the world in 6 days or over a period of millions of years (file this question in the second category above)….He created it! And, it’s amazing.
When my son was born and we discovered he had a heart defect, the NICU doctor said to me that he was always the MOST amazed when a baby was born completely healthy. He explained that my baby’s heart was beating before I even knew I was pregnant. And, it already had the defect. We don’t know why — it just didn’t form correctly for one reason or another. But, it is an example of how things must go EXACTLY right — perfectly, really — in order for a baby to be born with no defect.
Another thing that brings me great wonder is the changing of the seasons….particularly spring. We see life begin to burst forth where things seemed so dead. The birds instinctively know that its time to fly north. The earth has made another trip around the sun…just as it was designed to do…and the cycle of life begins again. It takes my breath away when I think about it.
It is he who made the earth by his power,
who established the world by his wisdom,
and by his understanding stretched out the heavens.
When he utters his voice, there is a tumult of waters in the heavens,
and he makes the mist rise from the ends of the earth.
He makes lightning for the rain,
and he brings forth the wind from his storehouses.~Jeremiah 10:12-13
Love God. Love People.
As you can see with my other posts this past week, I’ve been rather pre-occupied with personal things. However, my brain has been working overtime on some other issues as well and I just can’t keep them in any longer.
It’s January and January always brings intense debates about abortion. This post is not intended to address the political aspects of the debate and honestly, I’m not even interested in talking about or debating my views on the subject. What I am interested in is talking about the Christian perspective.
That being said, buckle your seat belts because unless you know me really well, this may turn out to be different than what you might be expecting.
I was listening to a well-known and influential pastor* a few weeks ago and somehow he started talking about abortion and how it is murder and that in the eyes of God, if you have had an abortion you are no better than the guy who shot up the elementary in Newtown, CT. I had to stop what I was doing and replay it to make sure that was really what I was hearing. It was. In the end, it bothered me so much that I stopped listening and went on to delete my subscription to this particular pastor’s sermons. To be fair though, it wasn’t because of this one instance…there have been many things leading up to this action on my part.
As the weeks went on, it bothered me more and more. I started getting emails from other well-known and influential pastors whom I follow who were also writing about the subject. I ended up reading a blog post, written by a woman who attended one of the aforementioned pastor’s churches. Essentially, she said that if we were bothered by his words, we need to ask ourselves why and address that. So, I did that (asked myself why) and this is me addressing it.
Several years ago, I read Phillip Yancey’s book, “What’s so Amazing about Grace?” I was rocked by the opening chapter in which Yancey tells a story of a prostitute whom he invited to church. Her response was, “Church! Why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself. They’d just make me feel worse.” (pg 11). Instead of church being a welcoming and forgiving place, this woman (who had done such unspeakable things that I cannot even write about them) would not even consider darkening the doorway. Let’s be clear…I know that as Christians, we are not to gloss over sin and condemning it is not categorically a bad thing. And, I also am aware of the simplicity of Yancey’s arguments from a theological standpoint. But, unless and until we (as believing Christians) recognize and accept that not one of us is worthy in the eyes of God, we have no right to call someone else out as a murderer (for more on this, see Matthew 7). If I, as a self-proclaimed Christian, who believes in the healing blood of Jesus was offended enough to turn the voice of that pastor off, then what about the person who has no concept of what Jesus dying on the cross means for their life? The consequences of those words could be eternal, in my opinion.
So, that is the “why”. It bothers me, not because people have strong opinions about abortion — or even what those opinions are, but because they allow it to become a potential stumbling block for others. Hear me on this: I do not think it’s bad to have an opinion on the subject. Nor do I think we should remain silent on the issue. My point is this: our words are powerful. We must be careful in how we present the gospel to somebody who doesn’t understand it. Instead of focusing on the sin, focus on He who died for the sin and the hope that each and every one of us has because of that tremendous sacrifice. Not one of us has led a sinless life — and as far as I can tell, God abhors all sin, so we all are in need of grace. Grace, for as simple as the definition is (undeserving favor), is extremely complex. Not only do people not understand it, they have a hard time accepting it because we live in a culture that values earning everything we have. And, I think it’s harder to extend grace for the same reasons. But, we should extend grace because it has been extended to us….every single day for reasons that we may not even think we need it.
Several years ago, I started praying that God would break my heart for the things that break His. (Side note: be careful if you decide to pray this. God will answer it and you will be heartbroken all the time). And, my heart is broken now. Not only for those who may have heard that message and who now want nothing to do with seeking Jesus but for those who are now second guessing Jesus — and also for the grace that I can’t seem to muster for the person who said it. I can’t help but think that when we get into these kinds of debates and start using hateful language (even if it’s only inside our own heads) that we are getting it all wrong. And, I have this vision of God shaking his head and saying “That’s not what I meant….”.
Finally, as I’ve been writing this, I’m increasingly aware that this isn’t just about abortion. It’s about all of the ways that we judge others and all of the litmus tests that we place on people who call themselves Christians (or don’t). I heard a woman recently talk about how her church family has hurt her more than anyone with regard to a personal issue. I think it’s because we expect more from our church family. We expect more from people who claim to follow Christ. And, when you expect more, you hurt more when those people let you down. But the real truth is that everyone is going to let you down because not one of us is perfect. Only Jesus is perfect. So, it makes sense to me that we should focus on the plank in our own eye and the Great Commandment that Jesus gave us:
34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:34-40
Love God. Love People. Not just love people, but love them as yourself. Have you ever thought about the high pedestal we tend to put ourselves on? We are to love people THAT much. Such a simple and yet incredibly difficult commandment. People are difficult to love when they make decisions that are contrary to your beliefs that you are so committed to! So, when you can’t love people, it’s time to focus on loving God and remember that He loves us despite how difficult we are. Miraculous things will begin to happen — you begin to love people, not because they are lovable but because if you truly love God, you love the people He loves. Even when you don’t want to.
*Pastor’s name is not included because I don’t want this post or discussion to be about him or for this post to be searchable based on his name because I don’t really think that is the point.
Life according to Jake
It’s been hard having a 13 year old these past few days. In the past, I’ve been able to avoid talking about national tragedies by avoiding turning on the television. I remember being so grateful that he was only 2 on 9/11 because I had no idea what I would have said to him.
Then, Friday happened and I had no idea what to say to him. But, I had to say something. I quickly realized that you don’t have to have an answer about “why?”, but the most important thing to do is listen and encourage them to talk about their feelings. And, as we talked, I found that my sweet son was being as comforting to me as I was trying to be to him.
I was trying to explain to him about how I react to things — I told him about a character in The Secret Life of Bees that I relate to. May Boatright is a complicated personality. Highly sensitive to the pain of others, she carries the weight of the world in her soul. She built a wailing wall in her backyard and goes there when she is upset. And then I told him that I often joke that I need a wailing wall of my own in the backyard.
He looked at me and said, “Mom, you don’t need to build a wailing wall. You have one right here”, and he patted his chest. “God knows what’s in your heart”.
Tears filled my eyes as I looked at this child, who has no idea how wise he is, even though sometimes he still puts his pants on backwards. I thanked him and told him that this was a conversation I will never forget.
I’ve said it before….I take no credit for how awesome he is. But, I do like to share the insights he has. Usually they are funny and light-hearted. Today, I hope his wise words can bring someone else comfort as well.
Feel free to use this post as your own wailing wall. My son and I would be privileged to join you in prayer for everyone affected by the Newtown shooting. And, that means everyone.
Romans 10:9 and my love/hate relationship with Christianity
… because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9 ESV)
I have a love/hate relationship with Christianity. It goes something like this:
I love Jesus.
I hate that people say that one must to do something other than love Jesus in order to call themselves a Christian.
I love Jesus.
I hate that we categorize people as believers and non-believers, whom we must somehow save (or not). We forget that we don’t do the saving. God does. When we convince ourselves that we somehow have something to do with it, we are making ourselves God and that’s idolotry.
I love Jesus.
I hate that people act like they know for an absolute fact who gets into Heaven and who doesn’t. It’s as if they don’t believe that God has the power to accomplish something bigger than our minds can comprehend. Here’s an extreme example: Jeffery Dahmer in heaven? Not a chance, we say. And yet, he proclaimed himself to be a born-again Christian. We believe that Jesus performed countless miracles and was raised from the dead and yet we don’t believe that God can redeem the heart of a sinful man? At the core, that is unbelief in the gospel.
I love Jesus.
I hate that a Jesus-loving black man stood in my kitchen last week and told me that he’s been told before that because his skin is black, he is a child of Satan. There is no scripture that gives us a complete physical description of Jesus (except in Isaiah 53:2, it does say that he was rather average), but I am 99.99% sure that he doesn’t look like this:
I love Jesus.
I hate that we use New Testament scripture as proof text as to why we are saved…and, we use Old Testament scripture as proof text as to why others aren’t. The Jesus we believe in, that we rejoice in his sacrifice and proclaim “He is Risen!” on Easter morning? He did that to fulfill those laws. Does it mean that we are to just go on sinning? No. But that is a whole study of Romans which could take months. My point is that we should be focusing on redemption and grace. Because, if we really are concerned about people, we aren’t going to do anything but drive them away by making them feel bad about themselves in Jesus’ name.
I love Jesus.
I hate that my faith gets questioned by people who think that Christians are of a certain political party. I have a whole diatribe on that, but I’ll just say that I can be a Democrat liberal and love Jesus at the same time. It makes perfect sense to me, but that’s another post for another day.
I love Jesus.
I hate that people suggest that science is in opposition to creation. If you believe that God created the universe, why is it so far fetched to believe that He used science to do it? We often refer to God as the Great Physician…why isn’t he also the Great Scientist?
I love Jesus.
I hate that we categorize sin. Sin is sin. It’s all in opposition to God and separates us from Him. Just because I can justify my act of anger toward somebody (clearly they acted a fool) doesn’t make it any less a sin than if I murdered somebody. Sound extreme? Read Matthew 5:21-22 and you’ll see what I mean. The point is not that if we get angry, we will go to hell. The point is that one sin is not bigger than the other. Still don’t buy it? Read James 2:10. Here, I’ll make it easy (but you should still look it up and not assume…)
For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. (James 2:10 ESV)
Nobody’s sin is bigger than anybody else’s. And when we start pointing out other people’s sin (which is SO easy to do), we raise the bar infinitely higher for ourselves. What these passages are telling us, in my opinion, is that we can’t do it on our own. That’s why we need a Savior. So, to get back to my original point, we spend too much time pointing out the sins of others instead of telling and SHOWING them the good news of Christ.
There’s a quote that many attribute to St. Francis of Assisi. It says “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary, use words”. There’s no proof that he actually said that, but I digress. It serves as arsenal for people who either want to call Christians out for the rubber not meeting the road or for those who don’t really want the burden of saying the word “Jesus” out loud in mixed company. I can call out both groups because I have landed in each one at various times in my life. I’m not proud of it, just being real. Anyway, I have heard many bible teachers that I respect greatly disagree with the sentiment, saying that we always need to use words…to do anything less would be lukewarm. I think that if all we do is use words, it can be pointless and counter-productive. I can’t just walk up to my agnostic co-worker and read scripture to him and ask if he wants to recite the sinner’s prayer now. Even *if* he didn’t tell me I was crazy and walk away, I would then have to Google a generic sinner’s prayer because I wouldn’t know anything about his life or his story in a way that would make that prayer at all meaningful. You see, I believe that you have to show the gospel in order to share the gospel. Showing it doesn’t absolve us from sharing it, but how do we build relationships otherwise? I don’t take parenting advice from people who I think are terrible parents. Why would I ask somebody about Jesus if I didn’t think they walked the walk?
So, instead, I do my best to follow what Jesus said in Matthew when asked “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36)
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 ESV)
Love God. Love People. No other rules or conditions. And, essentially, I think what verse 40 is saying is that the whole of the Law and Prophets (Old Testament) is dependent on these two commandments. Think about it, if we all loved God and loved people, what purpose would a commandment not to murder even have? There would be no murder.
If you are like me, the commandment to love our neighbors is overwhelming. Because Jesus doesn’t tell us to love the people that we like. Or love the people we agree with. We are to love all people. How on earth do we do that!? Well, that’s why the first commandment is to love God. I have found that when you love God, it is easier to love people. Not easy. Easier. And honestly, I find that it’s easier to love people who are not Christians because I don’t expect as much. And, then I realize that I’m putting conditions on them (the Christians) which is exactly what I’m irritated about in the first place.
This really started out as a pithy list I had going in my mind about why I hate religion. The truth is that I don’t really hate religion, there are a lot of good things about religion; but I think it can sometimes distract us from what our mission as Christians really is. And it’s not pithy. It’s complicated. And, it’s important. But, sometimes I just can’t shake this thought from my mind:
Seriously.
I should note that I have many Christian friends who might read this and wonder if I am judging them. If I’m honest, perhaps I am. But, the way it plays out in my mind is how I am raising the bar for myself. So, it’s a self-reflection in that regard. On the other hand, I have many non-Christian friends who might read this and wonder if the only reason I’m friends with them is to convert them. No. In fact, you are the reasons why these thoughts begin to bounce around in my head. Why I examine my own interpretation of my faith and the scriptures. Why I am constantly trying to learn more, and in that process realize that there is so much I don’t know. Why I feel so strongly about loving the people whom God has seen fit to put in my life. Why I am content to let God be bigger than I can ever imagine. And in the process of knowing me, I pray that you might get a glimpse of the Jesus that I love. And, if you ever want to know about my faith, ask me. I’m an open book.
The Gospel and Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes
Let me start by saying that I am not a cook. I can cook and I do manage to make some decent meals, thanks to cookbooks and other people’s recipes. For the past several years, we have had groups of people meeting at our house regularly, so I’m always on the lookout for new things to serve. I break a cardinal rule though and serve things that I’ve never actually made (or even tried) before I feed them to others. Fortunately, this has never really been a problem.
The weekly meal started in Olympia as a group of people who all went to church together gathered weekly to share life with one another outside of Sunday worship. In the beginning, many of us didn’t even know each other at all — we just happened to live geographically close to one another. Food has a way of bringing people together. Think about it….put a group of strangers in a room together. The extroverts will be able to do okay, but it can still be awkward. If you are an introverted kind of person, it can be downright painful. Put that same group of strangers in a room together and add food or beverages and it instantly becomes a party.
When we began hosting these weekly gatherings, I used the meal as a way to protect myself…to give myself something to do and focus on because I am terrible at small talk. As we all began to get to know one another more intimately, I began to really enjoy serving others, feeding them food they really enjoyed in a welcoming atmosphere. This wasn’t a church “small group” per se, as we regularly invited friends and neighbors who didn’t necessarily go to our church — or to church at all. And when we had new people join us, the meal was a much better ice breaker than any kind of cheesy ice-breaker game or question (although those do have value in certain situations).
You see, I believe that meals are a way to remind us of our daily need for God both on physical and spiritual level. Jesus calls us to remember him and his sacrifice through a meal that Christians call communion. Not only that, one of the first things Jesus does after being resurrected from the dead is to break bread with the disciples that he meets on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:30). The next morning, when he appeared to the rest of the disciples, he asked them, “Have you anything here to eat?” (Luke 24-41b). After he ate (they gave him broiled fish….), he went on to speak the most important truths of the Bible to them (read Luke 24:44-49 and you’ll see what I mean). When we eat together, we commune around these truths. The word itself is both a noun and a verb. The noun refers to a group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities — a synonym being community. The verb refers to sharing one’s intimate thoughts or feelings with someone — a synonym being to communicate or converse. So the meal, to me, is a time that we nourish our bodies with food, but we also use that time to share our thoughts and feelings with other people, which leads to building a community. And, in our fast food nation, I think this is somewhat lost on people.
In addition to eating, I think it’s important essential to celebrate God’s goodness and grace. I desire to extravagantly bless others as a way to display God’s glory. When I serve people, I want to serve them in the best way that I possibly can. This might be by preparing an extravagant meal, opening the best bottle of wine or just knowing somebody’s favorite thing and serving that. When you consider Jesus’ first miracle (John 2:1-11), it is significant that when Jesus turned the water into wine, it was the best wine. When the disciples gave Jesus a piece of broiled fish back in Luke 24, it was probably the most extravagant thing they had.
Which brings me to the Maple Bacon Breakfast cupcakes. We have brunch with a group of people on a monthly-ish basis. Bacon is always a staple and it’s usually a topic of conversation — that is, how much everyone loves it. So, when I saw Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes on Pinterest recently, I knew that was my next brunch item. I pinned it to my recipe board and when I went to make my shopping list, was dismayed to realize it was only a picture and there was no recipe. So, I searched for a recipe that sounded do-able. This morning, I got up early (not my favorite) and realized that we did not have any butter and had to change my plan. I decided to use pancake batter for the “cupcake” portion, but was not sure it would rise, so it actually turned into a science project (also not my favorite).
Did I mention I’m not a cook?
For a second, I almost scrapped the entire project. But, I was honestly driven out of my desire to provide something for this group that they would love. To be extravagant. To bless them. So, I winged it. And, they turned out fantastic. Here’s the recipe:
Start by cooking up some bacon. I wanted to use applewood smoked bacon, but we couldn’t find it. I would definitely use thick sliced, premium bacon. I think I did about 12 pieces.
2 cups pancake batter (it doesn’t matter what…I used some that I had bought in Mexico last month and never used. I actually put it in a carry on bag to bring home and it wasn’t until the TSA Agent started looking at the seals that I thought maybe it was a bad idea….”Hi Dad? I know I’m 41 years old, but I got arrested for having pancake batter in my carry-on. And, I’m in Mexico. I think they think it’s cocaine. … Hello?…”)
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
Sift the dry ingredients together. I think sifting is important when using the batter, because it made them light and fluffy.
Then add the following to the dry ingredients:
1 cup milk
2 eggs
Bacon grease from the bacon you just fried. This was an afterthought and I have no idea how much I used…maybe 2 tablespoons?
2 tablespoons maple syrup. This was also an afterthought as I wanted the cupcake portion to have a sweet and savory quality. I think it was the perfect amount, but I would make sure to use pure maple syrup for best results. Grade B might even be better, but it’s hard to find sometimes.
Minced bacon. I don’t know how much I used — maybe 1/2 cup? It doesn’t matter. It’s bacon. More is better.
Mix all of these ingredients together enough to blend them but not too much. Pour into cupcake papers and bake. I experimented with the time….I have a convection oven that converts for me automatically. I put the first batch in at 350 for 18 minutes. This converted to 325 for 16 minutes. I watched them closely and ended up taking them out at about 13 minutes. I think all ovens are different, so just keep an eye on them and use a toothpick to determine if they are done.
I ended up making 2 batches, which made 24 standard size cupcakes and an additional 12 mini cupcakes.
Maple Frosting – this is not my own recipe…I just found it online
1 stick of butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons maple syrup (again, I used Grade A, but Grade B might be better as it’s a little darker and has a richer flavor).
I topped them with a piece of bacon and voila!
Peace to you. And, be extravagant!
Hope
This morning, there is a family grieving the loss of their infant baby girl. Anna Joy was born with a major heart defect. Just like our son (although not the same defect). She immediately had to endure a surgery that could potentially save her life — until the next surgery. Just like our son. As I have read their blog over the past couple of weeks, I have been overwhelmed by the memories. I know what it’s like to see your baby hooked up to every contraption imagineable. I know what it’s like to watch helplessly as they are wheeled away to surgery. I know what it’s like to be in the hospital during the holidays. I know what it’s like to watch the doctors scratch their heads and declare that there is little more they can do for your baby. I know what it’s like to cry out to God, “Please don’t make me bury an infant”. What I don’t know is what it’s like to come home from the hospital without my baby. It’s times like this that I am overwhelmed with “survivor’s guilt”. I’ve experienced it other times as well as dear friends of mine have lost their children…and each time I wonder why. Why was their child taken and not mine? I remember finding very little comfort in well-meaning Christians telling me that God’s ways are perfect. In fact, it makes me mad. “NO!”, I want to scream. This is not perfect. Death is not perfect. The God I believe in is grieving along with me. This was not how it was meant to be. Creation, as God intended, has been broken.
I’m not saying that God’s ways are not perfect. As Christians, we believe that He works out all things for good (Romans 8:28). But, sometimes we cannot see the good, especially when we are in the midst of heartbreak. I once heard an analogy about a quilt. We see our lives as the front of the quilt, with just the patterns showing. But if we look under the backing, we would see all of the threads and knots that were needed to make the finished product. Still, not much consolation to a grieving parent.
And, then I remember Christmas. The day that we celebrate the birth of God’s son, who was to be the Savior of the world. Jesus was sent to right the wrongs and restore all things to perfection – to the way God intended them to be. To abolish death (2 Timothy 1:10) To give us eternal life so that we would never again have to grieve death (John 3:16).
Does any of this make it easier to grieve the death of a child? Absolutely not. But, it gives us hope. A reminder that there is light in darkness (John 1:15).
Please lift this family up in thought and prayer. Because as a friend put it, in comparison to this, we don’t actually have any problems. Light a candle tonight and say to the darkness, “we beg to differ” (Mary Jo Leddy).
And then listen to this song, written by a friend of ours, about the love, peace and joy that Jesus brings.
Conspire with me
Let me start out by saying that I am a gift giver. I love giving presents that bring people joy. It’s my “love language” as they say. But, every year about this time, I start to go on a rant about consumerism. This year is a little bit different though.
I used to be 100% opposed to Black Friday. I despised all that it stood for and wondered at the irony of how quickly we shift from being thankful to being, well…greedy. I’ve been doing more thinking about it recently and while I haven’t necessarily changed my position, my outlook has shifted. I still don’t like it. Especially when I hear stories of people using pepper spray to ensure that they get the product they want. Or grandfathers being slammed to the ground by police, traumatizing grandchildren. In fact, the violence this year is reported as being the worst ever. You begin to wonder if the gifts that people are fighting over will even be remembered by this time next year. Chances are, they won’t.
On the other hand, it is prudent to steward your money wisely. If you can save 50% on something that you are going to buy anyway, why not take advantage of the sales? My laptop computer died on the Monday before Thanksgiving. I need a new one because I use my computer to work from home. We were able to get a deal and spent 1/3 of what our alloted budget was for it. We happened to do it online, but if we wanted to stand in line for it, that would be our business.
I also support spending money locally. I love the idea of Small Business Saturday. When I lived in Olympia, I used to go to Duck the Malls every year. I found wonderful gifts which supported local artisans. (It’s coming up next weekend, so if you are in the area, check it out!)
Another thing I have started to consider is the tradition that some people enjoy. My sister-in-law goes out with her sisters every year. They love it. They get to spend time together and enjoy eachothers company while saving money on gifts they will likely buy anyway.
My issue with Black Friday and Cyber Monday and the all of the consumerism that surrounds the holidays really boils down to a heart issue. If you are buying things and spending money on a gift just because it’s on sale, it doesn’t make sense to me. I promise you that people who love you would much rather have your time. A couple of years ago, I gave my step-mom a hand made gift certificate for a date to afternoon tea at the Phoenician Resort in Phoenix, where she lives. Yes, in the end, I still spent money — and I knew that it would be months before we would actually do it (it was May by the time I got to Phoenix). But, that afternoon we spent together will forever be in our memories — a bigger treasure than any material thing I could have purchased for that same price.
And, then there is the reality that despite our current economic situation, we are still the richest country in the world. In the midst of cries of “we are the 99%”, we still have managed to spend around $54 billion between Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
To the rest of the world, we are the 1%.
These folks say it better than I ever could. I’ve been trying to live by the Advent Conspiracy values for many years now. I still give gifts. I just approach it differently now.
Loving the unlovable
There’s a character in The Secret Life of Bees that I relate to. May Boatright is a complicated personality. Highly sensitive to the pain of others, she carries the weight of the world in her soul. She built a wailing wall in her backyard and goes there when she is upset. I often joke that I need a wailing wall of my own.
A few years ago, I started praying that God would break my heart for the things that break His. It’s one of those “be careful what you ask for” prayers because sometimes the pain of the world and the people around me are crushing. I’m not meaning to sound dramatic and I’m certainly not going to drown myself in a river over the things that weigh on my mind and heart, but sometimes it is exhausting.
For several weeks, I have been exhausted by the Casey Anthony trial and discussion surrounding it. Let me first be very clear — my personal feeling is that she probably had something to do with her daughter’s death. But, our justice system is one that puts the burden of proof on the prosecution — everyone is innocent until proven guilty. It is my personal belief that the jury took their job and the instructions given to them about reasonable doubt very seriously. And, I suspect this case will haunt them forever. I was obviously not in the courtroom and did not watch the trial on television, but I do know that there was never a cause of death determined. I don’t know how a person can be convicted of murder when there is no cause of death. All of the evidence was circumstantial and as unfair as that may seem at times like this, a person simply cannot be convicted of a crime based on circumstantial evidence. How incredibly ironic it was that this verdict came down just hours after we gathered together in communities across this country to celebrate the Declaration of Independence and the freedoms that we enjoy as a result of that historical document. How often do we hear of innocent people being held prisoner in other countries because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. We often regard those countries as barbaric and backwards. Our judicial system is not perfect and I believe that sometimes criminals go free on technicalities or by lack of evidence. We are right be enraged at the injustice of it all, but at the same time, innocent people often spend years — decades — even lifetimes — in prison. Where is the outrage when it’s discovered that somebody has been wrongly convicted of a crime? What about when we discover, after it’s too late, that somebody was put to death for a crime they did not commit? Where are the mobs of chanting people then? And then I wonder why Caylee Anthony’s story gripped the nation and stories like Christian Choate’s don’t spark a greater public outrage (I’m not saying that there isn’t outrage…just that it didn’t make the news cycle in the same kind of way). Believe me, my soul aches for what Caylee endured at the hands of somebody she trusted. But, that’s not the only thing that makes my heart heavy.
In the days and weeks that have followed the shocking verdict, I think that the most disturbing things I have heard is professing Christians saying things like “I hope she burns in hell”. Often they are the same kinds people who attend evangelical churches and wear WWJD bracelets. Really, I do not think that Jesus would say, “I hope she burns in hell”. In fact, I am 100% certain that He would not say that. The reality is, if you are a Christian, you believe that Jesus came to save us from a destiny just like that. It is the very basis for why we worship Jesus. On Sundays, we lift up our hands and praise Him for the work that he did on the cross. A work that, in a very uncomfortable way, looks a lot like the picture of Casey Anthony leaving the jail in the dark of the night. Guilty. And yet set free. Now, I realize there are fundamental differences — not the least of which is that nobody has paid the price for the crime that was committed. It can be argued that many have paid a price. But, for the crime itself, nobody has been held accountable. And, I think that is what outrages people the most.
But my point is this:
As Christians, we are called to love God and love others as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:28-31). And, if only we could live up to those two seemingly simple commandments, we would not have situations like babies being found dead in a swamp. But at the same time, wishing somebody eternal damnation in hell is just something that my heart cannot even fathom. Because I think that if you really believe in hell — and you really take the words of Jesus seriously as He calls His followers to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:16-20), then you would be on your knees praying for Casey Anthony’s soul. Because if you look back at that verse in Mark — Jesus doesn’t command us to just love the loveable neighbors. He just simply said we are to love our neighbors. And by neighbors, He meant everybody.
I don’t even know how to end this post because it’s so complicated. I don’t even know why I feel so compelled to post this in the first place. I know how I feel, but I don’t have any answers — especially for people who don’t believe what I believe about Jesus and God and Heaven and hell. What I can tell you is that I believe that God’s heart breaks for what happened to Caylee. But, I also believe that He grieves for the way that people who claim to be His followers behave in the aftermath of such a tragedy. We must think before we speak…because I think that our words reflect the state of our hearts (Luke 6:45). And, we cannot testify to a God of forgiveness and love if our words are hateful…about anyone.
De-captivating
A couple of years ago, my husband gave me a copy of the book “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge. He had read “Wild at Heart” and felt like it really encapsulated how he felt as a man. The book has been on my shelf since then. I did try to read it, but the first couple of pages did not grab me, so that was the end of that (I was probably distracted by something shiny). Since then, I keep getting encouraged by various women in my life to read it. Last week, a good friend mentioned that she had the book on CD and lent it to me. I spend a lot of time in the car and listening to books on CD is ideal for me.
I hate it. There, I said it. I don’t get it – I find myself looking at my CD player and saying “Whaaaaaat?” – and because of this, I feel like there must be something wrong with me. I don’t relate to the authors and I think their message is completely skewed by their own experience. I kept wondering how a Christian woman outside of the United States would feel about this book – with all of the references to movies, novels, songs and celebrities, I felt it was very ethnocentric….which Jesus is not. I’ve not taken the time to look up all of the scripture references, but even they don’t sit well with me. I believe the authors hearts are in the right place but nothing they say resonates with me.
As a child, I never wanted to be a princess or dreamed of my knight in shining armor rescuing me from…whatever it was that I needed rescuing. I don’t read romance novels, don’t listen to sappy love songs and I can’t stand “chick flicks”. Listening to this book, I began to wonder if I really am even a woman! At the same time, I am really uncomfortable with the idea of men as rescuers. How unfair is it to say that my husband can rescue me? Worse yet, how unfair is it to expect him to rescue me? He can’t rescue me — only Jesus can rescue me. The pages of scripture make this abundantly clear. So, if I expect a man to rescue me, I am only setting myself up for disappointment — and my husband for failure. Isn’t that man-centered, not God-centered theology?
And speaking of pride, these statements set me back: “Eve was given to the world as the incarnation of a beautiful, captivating God…” “Eve incarnates the Beauty of God and she gives life to the world.” Maybe I’m being nit-picky, but I don’t think that women give life to the world. I think they bring life into the world, but only God gives life to the world.
The romantic view of God that is presented makes me uncomfortable as well. The authors refer to God as a “Lover”. I do not disagree that God loves us with an everlasting love — the Bible tells us so! –, but I think we must also look at how the Bible defines love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV), the Apostle Paul tells us that love is patient, kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, irritable, or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Now, let’s look at how the Bible defines “Romance”. Wait, there is no definition of romance in Scripture. A search of the word at Miiriam-Webster Online offers many definitions of the word including “something (as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact”. One definition in Dictionary.com is “a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention”. To be fair, I even checked Easton’s Bible Dictionary and the word is “not contained in the index”. So, while in our popular culture, we use the words “love” and “romance” interchangeably, I don’t think it’s biblical to to have a romantic view of God. I think a romantic view is a low view. So, imagine my shock when I heard them say that “the root of holiness is Romance”. I nearly drove off the road. I had to scan back and listen again, just to make sure I heard correctly. Then, when I got home, I got out the book and sure enough, there it is on page 113. “The root of all holiness is Romance”. Wow. I am not even sure what to say to that. But, God has something to say about it. 1 Peter 1:15-16 says, “but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” God is holy. We are only holy because He is. It has nothing to do with romance.
Finally, the box that the authors put men and women in is insulting! I think men and women each have masculine and feminine characteristics – just as God does. It’s unfair to suggest that only women can extol the gentle attributes of God — mercy, grace, love, tenderness, and “fierce devotion”….and that men hold the masculine attributes — God’s justice, strength, wrath. Certainly, men and women are separate and distinct and were created for different purposes. But, again…this book left me feeling worse about myself as a woman than I did before!
To be clear…I realize I am probably over-analyzing the book. And, I don’t mean to insult anyone who loved the book — I know there are MANY! I guess I found myself disappointed after all of the hype. But, as I reflect somewhat, I realize that had I read this book when it was first given to me, I probably would have just been confused. I suspect I would have had the same uneasy feeling about what it was saying, but I wouldn’t have known why. God has taught me so much in the past couple of years — I understand scripture better and I have learned to listen to the Holy Spirit more. So, in God’s providence, I didn’t explore this book until now. Now, I really understand that my identity is in Christ alone…and not how any book, other than the Bible, tells me I am or should be.
Adventures of A Wild Pixie 