Grammar Camp

I like to think I’m pretty tolerant.  But there are some things that I have a hard time tolerating. Poor grammar is one of those things.  Following is a list of the most annoying things people say on a regular basis:

  1. Irregardless
  2. “I love him (or her) to death”
  3. “Could of” and “Would of”
  4. Using “impact” as a verb
  5. “On the contrary…”
  6. “Intensive purposes”
  7. “Here, here” (it’s “Hear, hear!”)
  8. “I could care less”

 

Most annoying is the phrase “a whole ‘nother”.   I wish it would be banished from the American popular lexicon forever.

A picture only scratches the surface.

I’ve spent the last 7 months bloggin about Maddy and our life with her.  Well, 6 months….I haven’t been able to update much lately.  Mostly because we don’t see her that often and there isn’t enough to say about her to update regularly.  I have a lot of emotions that I’ve been working through though – but it hardly seems the appropriate place to air it all.  Maybe it is….but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to do it. 

I think I must be going through some kind of mid-life crisis. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my life and the past 10 years especially. Jake has brought incredible joy to my life. He is an amazing kid and I feel honored and blessed that God saw fit for me to be his mother. But, in all of that, I feel like a part of me has gotten lost. His health issues made it necessary to make drastic changes to my life. I’ve been working from home — which is an incredible blessing. I have a job I’m good at, working for a company that trusts me enough to work remotely and I get paid well. Plus, I pretty much make my own schedule. Believe me….it’s not lost on me how incredibly fortunate I am. But, I look around at people who are doing amazing things and making a real difference in the world and it makes my life seem so ordinary.  I want to do something that matters to people – and let’s face it:  buying media isn’t going to leave a legacy.   Nobody is going to stand up at my funeral and recount the amazing deals I was able to negotiate on behalf of my clients. 

Last night, I was digging through some boxes looking for pictures for our high school reunion slideshow.  I found a box full of pictures from before Jake was born and his first year.  I just wept as I went through them.  Partly because I miss my sweet baby boy (who is just full of pre-adolescent narcissism at the moment), partly because I realized (maybe for the first time) just how tiny and sick he was, and partly (mostly?) because I miss the Stephanie that is in those photos.  She was healthy and vibrant and fun.  She didn’t shy away from the camera and she smiled…a lot.  She looked forward to going to her 10-year high school reunion (even though I missed it because Jake had just been born).  She loved her job and her husband and her life. 

Now, I think the only thing that remains is that she loves her husband. 

The last 10 years have not been easy and it shows.  I don’t even recognize pictures of myself anymore (what few there are of me because I don’t want to remember what I look like right now).  Every day, I think to myself that I hate my job.  I’m not going to my high school reunion.  I blame it on the fact that it falls on Lloyd’s 40th birthday, but the real truth is that I don’t want anyone to see me looking like I do.  I’m more overweight than I’ve ever been in my life.   It’s even causing me to put off making a trip to Colorado this summer to see my grandma.  She’s 90 and while she is healthy and doing well, I know that I need to seize every opportunity I have to see her.  But, I don’t want to because I’m fat. 

Last Saturday, I participated in a 1/2 marathon.  I did it because I wanted to have a goal that would help me get back on track.  I hoped it would be healing for me.  Instead, I think it opened up a huge can of worms – realizing how I have neglected myself in order to take care of everything else.  And, then the pictures came and I was absolutely horrified at how I look.  Maybe horrified enough to finally do something about it?  But, I am so scared of failing….again.

I went to bed thinking that the Stephanie in those earlier pictures would have been disgusted with the Stephanie in those 1/2 marathon pictures.  If she were sitting with me today, she would tell me to get off my ass and change things.  In fact, I think she is with me today….telling me to get off my ass and change things.  It just seems like such a long road.

My Birthday Present

I’m getting a lot of them this year.  First and most importantly, I get to wake up on my birthday (Jan 21) and there will be a new President.  Second, “Lost” starts that day.  I know there is something else significant happening too, but I can’t remember what it is (so it actually must not be that significant).  Anyway, I’ve also decided to run a 1/2 marathon…or two.  First, I’m going to do the Tacoma City Marathon in May.  It’s exactly 17 weeks from tomorrow…which is the length of the training program that I’m going to do.   I also discovered that the Rock and Roll marathon is coming to Seattle this year!  YAY!  So, I think I’ll do that one in June as well.  I’m going to sign up and pay for both of them on my birthday….sort of a present to myself — and an incentive to keep training.  I don’t particularly like running, but I am the sort of person who gives things 100% when she sets her mind to it.  I ran the Honolulu Marathon in 2002, so I know I can do it.  It just feels good to have a plan.  May will be here before we know it.

Religion?

A few months ago, I joined Facebook and when filling out the profile information, I came to the “religion” field and didn’t know what to do.  I mean, I am Christian, to be sure.  But, the word “religion” just turns me off.  I think it happened one day when listening to a Mark Driscoll sermon (teaching pastor at Mars Hill Church) on Philippians.  In Chapter 3, verses 7 & 8, Paul writes:

7Butwhatever gain I had,I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8Indeed, I count everything as loss because ofthe surpassing worth ofknowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake Ihave suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

Paul realizes that everything he had been accumulating to buy his way into the Kingdom was rubbish, that’s the word he uses in verse 8…rubbish. And he gives it all up for Christ.  So, religion (as part of everythign) can be counted as rubbish.  I don’t articulate it nearly as passionately as Mark does, but that’s the overall gist of it.

So, for a long time, in the “religion” field of my facebook profile, it said “Religion is rubbish – Philippians 3:7-8”.  Nobody ever asked me about it, but I have often wondered what people think when they see it.  Do they look up the verse?

Yesterday, I was reading my Sojourner’s mail and there was a quote that jumped off the page at me:

Religion without humanity is just poor human stuff.

Exactly!  I almost think Paul would agree with this as well.

It’s been a long time

There has been so much going on in my life lately that keeping up with this blog has been hard. Most of my effort has been put into keep Maddy’s Blog up to date. Although, it’s not the same kind of outlet.  

I have been putting a lot of thought into New Year’s Resolutions this year.  I don’t like to make them….but I usually do.  This year, I’m not going to resolve to do anything new or different.  Instead, I’m just going to focus on celebrating life.  Part of that will include reading through the bible in a year.  I’m going to do the chronological bible.  It’s something I’ve never done before but have wanted to.  I also got a cool new camera for Christmas and I intend to take a lot more pictures and I hope to even take a digital photography class.  It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. 

One of the things that I’ve struggled with since getting Maddy is selfishness.  I had gotten so used to having one child…and a child that is fairly self-sufficient.  I have never been much of a baby person either.  Now, I’m in it as deep as it can be….and I’ll be nearly 60 when she’s graduated high school (God willing we get to keep her).  It’s not how I envisioned my life.  And, yet…when we roll back the tape in our minds, there was no other answer than to say yes when we got the call.  It’s reminded me that God’s plans are often (usually) different from my plans.  That’s my motivation for reading through the bible….I want constant reminders of God’s greater plan.  I want to fit into it…and I want to do it without reservation, although knowing that it will require sacrifice. 

I may never get to sell everything and rent bicycles on the beach in Key West while Lloyd writes his novel.  So, I want to stop dreaming about that and just celebrate the wonderful life God has given me.

Pumpkin Picking

We began our annual trip to the Cider Mill in 2002, just after Jake turned three.  Each year, we go pick out a pumpkin, enjoy hot apple cider and apple fritters and take a picture of Jake in front of the water wheel.  It’s become a fun family tradition and we cherish the pictures. 

2002 - 3 years old

2002 - 3 years old

 

2003 - 4 years old

2003 - 4 years old

2005 – 6 years old

2005 - 6 years old

2004 - 5 years old

2004 - 5 years old

2006 - 7 years old

2006 - 7 years old2007 - 8 years old

2008 - 9 years old

2008 - 9 years old2009 - 10 years old