That’s what Jake told me a few weeks ago when I was asking him to please practice the piano. I told him that I thought he meant “practice makes perfect”. Instead he responded, “Nobody’s perfect, Mom. Only Jesus”.
Lloyd told me that one needed to be written down. And now it is…the continuing saga of what I’m now going to call “Life According to Jake”.
We have spent the last week in the South. Lloyd had a conference in Nashville and Jake and I accompanied him on the trip. Since he would be occupied with meetings, we took the opportunity to visit friends on Birmingham for a couple of days. We decided to take the kids to the Civil Rights Museum. I’m not sure what I was expecting…..or perhaps I wasn’t expecting the reactions we had. To start, the friend I was with is married to an African-American and her son is bi-racial. At one point, Jake turned to me and said, “Mom, of it weren’t for people like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks, I wouldn’t be able to play with Brandon!”. He’s absolutely right and I was so happy that he was really “getting it”…after all, that was the point of the museum. He became increasingly indignent as we proceeded through the museum….asking me WHY we would treat people this way. WHY on earth would people burn crosses when the cross was a symbol of forgiveness and freedom from sin? I didn’t have a lot of answers for him. But, I was proud of him for feeling such empathy. At the end of the tour, we got to hear/see MLK’s I Have a Dream speech and Jake applauded throughout. As for me, I was equally as appalled. And I wondered to myself if I would have been one of those that cheered on the Freedom Riders as they made their way toward New Orleans. Even more….would I have been willing to endure the persecution. I like to think that I would have been.
So as we look forward to hearing Barack Obama’s speech at the DNC ( which, incidentally will occur on the anniversary of the I Have a Dream speech), I am even more hopeful for our country…and for the America that Jake will have the opportunity to experience.
Dylan passed away on July 5th. I found out early in the morning of July 6th – just before I had to go to my old house and clean. I just walked around in a daze. I knew that it was going to happen but nothing prepares you for the death of a child. Nothing. So, I scrubbed floors and toilets and just cried. For the past three weeks, I keep telling myself that I should blog about it. But, I have not been able to make myself type the words.
My sweet son, bless his heart….reminded me that the good news was that Dylan was with Jesus. Yes, that is good news. It’s still hard for those of us who are left wondering why these things happen.
Here is Heide’s post on CaringBridge, as well as a copy of the obituary.
4 days short of 18 months of fighting AML leukemia without any remission, our son Dylan passed away yesterday July 5th at 2:15 PM. His body could not keep up with his will to live and gave in. We are having faith in God that he is with his Mimi (Scott’s Mom) eating meatballs and watching game shows and fooling around with my Grandpa. I pray that these very important people in our lives care for our FOREVER 8 yr old until Scott and I are given the chance to be reunited with him. The important things we are focusing on are that Dylan is now healthy in heaven, he passed quickly, out of pain, and that while he was on earth we did everything to heal him that we could, but more importantly we did everything we could to make him happy! As expected, we are not ok. Our three little boys (6 yrs old and 4 1/2yrs old) are not ok. We knew it would be hard but we were not expecting how hard. There are periods of crying in our house. I won’t lie about it- this is painful but as always…we will PUSH the FROG and take all the memories, love and lessons that Dylan has taught us and move forward. He was such an amazing boy!
Mayo, Dylan Scott CLIFTON PARK, N.Y. Dylan Scott Mayo, 8, son of Scott and Heide Mayo of Clifton Park passed away on July 5, 2008 after a long 18 month battle with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He was an amazing, courageous boy with a will to live that out lived his body. He was always smiling and reassuring people he was fine. He loved Pokemon and spending time with his family and friends. Dylan was well loved throughout his community and beyond. He would have been a 4th grader at Okte Elementary School this fall. He will always be loved and never be forgotten. Besides his parents, Dylan is survived by his three younger brothers, Jacob, Devin, and Justin; along with his paternal grandfather, Michael Mayo; his maternal grandparents, Earl and Barbara Kehoe; his maternal great-grandmother, Helen Stock; and many, many aunts, uncles, and cousins. He was predeceased by his paternal grandmother, Gail Mayo who met him at Heaven’s gate. The viewing will be on Tuesday, July 8 from 4-8 p.m. at Gordon C. Emerick Funeral Home in Clifton Park. All are invited to celebrate Dylan’s life with us. Burial will be private on Saturday. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to the Catie Hoch Foundation. This foundation was a huge help and wealth of information for our family during our last 18 months. Please send donations to: Catie Hoch Foundation, 27 Southwood Drive, Ballston Lake, NY 12019.
Today was a milestone day. First of all, we went to the movie with friends today. On our way out, Jake said he had to go to the bathroom. I’ve never let him go into the men’s bathroom by himself and today, there were no men to accompany him. He looked at me and said “Mom, I am a third grader now. I will be fine”. So, I let him. And he was fine. I can’t shelter him forever. I can only teach him about “stranger danger”, but he also needs to know that just because somebody is a stranger, it doesn’t mean they are going to hurt him. I need to remember that, too.
Secondly, Lloyd and Jake had their first “man talk” tonight. It wasn’t exactly a birds and the bees talk, but it laid the groundwork…and most importantly showed Jake that there isn’t anything he can’t talk to his dad about. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall, but this needed to be a father/son moment.
Finally, we finished reading Where the Red Fern Grows. Lloyd’s actually been reading it to him, but I hung out and listened to the last couple of chapters. I sat here and cried like a baby. Lloyd was choked up too. Jake thought it was sad, too. But, we had a great discussion about why God allows seemingly bad things to happen.
I could go on and on and on about what a great daddy Lloyd is. Instead, I’ll let you just see for yourself.
For the past 2 years now, I have forgotton one of the most significant “anniversaries” in my life. June 5, 2000. It was the day of Jake’s open heart surgery. The day his heart was repaired. The day he was given a new lease on life. I remember it so clearly…handing him over to the nurse and just asking Jesus to be there with him and hold him because I couldn’t. Seven hours went by….tick…tock….tick….tock. It was probably the longest day of my life. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know what God had in store for us. All I knew was that if we didn’t do this surgery, he would die – and I knew I couldn’t face that. Back then, I never thought the day would come when I didn’t think about his heart….worry about his heart. And now, 8 years later, there are many days that go by when I don’t think about it – or if I do, it’s not with sadness or despair. Jake jogged for 30 minutes in the Jog-A-Thon this year! Would would have thought my little 3 pound “blue” baby would do that? God knew all along the plans he had for Jake. He has been faithful to gently erase the horrible memories of that time in our lives, while reminding us on a daily basis just how blessed we truly are. For a moment, when I looked at the calendar today and realized that I had forgotten, I felt a little guilty. But, that quickly turned to praise – that we don’t have to think about it every day – and that we can just be “normal”.
June 5, 2000
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday night, Jake had his final choir concert of the year. They spent a good amount of time honoring the seniors, which always makes me weepy. It’s a combination of realizing that although Jake is only 8 – 10 years goes by fast – and remembering my own senior year. It’s amazing. I have very few memories of my childhood and it’s hard for me to remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but those last couple of months before I graduated are permanently etched into my mind. Not only do I remember the events like they were yesterday, I remember the feeling I had as I was going through them. Excitement about the future and yet, I really had no idea how much I had to look forward to.
For the first time ever, the Olympia Youth Chorus had a Men’s Ensemble (for changed voices) this year and at the concert, the younger boys got to perform a piece with the older boys. Jake loved singing with them and there really is nothing more precious than seeing the older and younger kids together. Jake had two things to say after the concert that night:
Letting them grow up is probably the hardest part about being a mom.
We got to meet our new nephew today. He’s precious and perfect and such a miracle – all babies are. But, I just love newborn boys……and how you can tell what they are going to look like when they are old men. 🙂
I have been so blessed with wonderful neices and nephews. And I just love being and auntie….especially the crazy, fun auntie who always comes with presents.
Carson Wesley
And, just for good measure, I have to show off the rest of the kiddos. I know I’m a bit biased, but this is one good looking crew.
No, not good. Abso-freaking-lutely amazing.
After getting the news that Dylan might not make it through the night on Monday, my group of “virtual” friends rallied together to do something incredible. We have one mom in our midst whose daughter has battled cancer as well. Karen and Heide (Dylan’s mom) have become quite close over the last year and a half as they both fought for their children’s lives. Karen desperately wants to go to the memorial service (in Albany, NY — she lives in Orlando, FL), when the time comes – to be a support for Heide – but money is tight for them, as they have mountains of medical bills. Here’s where it gets amazing.
In just under 48 hours, this group of women raised almost $800 to send Karen to NY when the time is right. This will pay for an airline ticket as well as provide money to cover expenses. I happened to be the one who collected the money – and every time an email would come in telling me my paypal account had yet another contribution, I would get tears in my eyes. Today, I barely kept my composure at the post office as I sent the VISA gift card off to Karen.
All I can think is that THIS is what it means to live missionally. Many of these women don’t claim to be Christians – and yet, in moments like these…they are living exactly as Christ would have them live. It’s these times that I have the opportunity to gently evangelize to them. I was even able to work with one woman who I have had quite a falling out with to secure the airline ticket….and everyone else got to be a fly on the wall and watch Christ work in that situation.
On another note, Dylan continues to AMAZE the doctors. After being as sick as they thought he could possibly be, God has graciously given he and his family more time. And, today, he was able to go home from the hospital. I don’t know how long he will have, but I do know that God is being glorified in every possible way through this little boy. And, I am honored and priviledged to be a part of it.
I got a new ‘do the other day. It was a long time coming and I spent way too much money….but I figure that I’ve probably saved enough in NOT getting my hair cut over the years to justify it. The stylist, “designer”, William sat down and talked to me about me and my daily routine to determine what style would be the easiest and most flattering – and most importantly, matched my personality. I felt like I was in an episode of “What Not to Wear” as he turned me around to see the new creation in the mirror. I got tears in my eyes and said “I feel like ‘me’ again”. And, I have to tell you – it’s easy to get used to people telling you how good you look. Over the past 6 days, the adjective that has been used to describe the new look is “sassy”. So, William nailed it. Sassy it is.
Adventures of A Wild Pixie 