Giving sorrow words

/ Stephanie / 2 Comments

I have a pretty regular Tuesday lunch date with a friend of mine. She brings along her almost 4 year old and her 8 month old niece. Occasionally another friend of ours joins us with her 1 year old. It’s one of the highlights of my week. The four year old runs and jumps into my arms when I see him and the baby always greets me with a huge smile. This week, I was marveling at how scrumptious the four year old is and wondered aloud, “Why do I not have a 4 year old daughter”, thinking I could arrange a marriage now.

And then it hit me. If things had worked out differently, I would have an almost four year old daughter.

Sometimes, the grief hits me out of the blue. On Mother’s Day, I attended a worship service that celebrated all mothers and the sacrifices they make daily for their children. Included in the list of mothers that they acknowledged were foster mothers. And, just like that, the pain was as fresh as it was the day we had to hand Madelyne back to her father after raising her as our own since she was 2 days old.

The other day, I was in a baby store buying a gift and my son said to me, “All of this stuff reminds me of Madelyne. It makes me sad”. It’s not just me — he feels it, too. I’ve said many times that the experience changed us — for the better. And it did. But, sometimes it just hurts. When we first brought Madelyne home, I was amazed that suddenly, I had a whole new place in my heart that was full of love for somebody that I didn’t even know existed just a few days before. And now that she’s gone, the love is still there, but there is an empty place in my heart that just remains empty. And, sometimes I wonder if she also feels a void in her life, even if she doesn’t understand it.

Moving was hard for a number of reasons.  For starters, we knew we were leaving her behind. I felt a lot of guilt about that, but as it turns out, even if we still lived in Washington, it’s very likely that we wouldn’t have any contact with her now, which is another story all-together — although I will likely not write about it anytime soon because it violates my self-imposed rules in that it could violate relationships or confidence.  The bottom line is that I have not seen or heard from anyone who has seen her in nearly a year.   In one way, it’s kind of good. If I was still in Olympia, I would be consumed by the fact that I wasn’t seeing her regularly. It’s not a case of “out of sight, out of mind”, but being far away does make it a little easier to deal with, I suppose. But, it is also hard because our new friends here don’t know that part of our story. I remember somebody coming to our house one day and asking who that baby was in a picture. “That’s Madelyne”, I replied. “Our foster baby”. She had no idea, and I’d known her for several months at that point.

I like to think that I will perpetually be in the last stage of my grief, accepting the reality of our situation and hopeful for the future. But occasionally I find myself flung back into the chaotic places of pain and guilt and anger and loneliness. Sometimes, I think it can even make me physically ill. I suspect that will never change.

One of the things I know for certain is that the love we gave Madelyne in those first couple of years, and especially the first few months, will shape her whole life. That alone has given me whole new perspective on how much we can impact a child’s life, no matter what our ultimate role ends up being.

Anyway, I’m glad I have new little people in my life to love.

Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o’erfraught heart and bids it break. – William Shakespeare, MacBeth

Death by Caffeine

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A couple of weeks ago, I was taking some kids in our carpool home and they were talking about how their moms make them eat breakfast every day (seriously, kids today are so abused). One girl said that she will usually just have an energy drink or two and I caught my 12-year old looking at me in the rear view mirror in horror. You see, I have pretty much forbidden caffeine consumption by my son. He has a Tetralogy of Fallot — a congenital heart defect — and while it has been “repaired” and doesn’t really have any physical restrictions, his heart still works differently than a normal heart. You can read more about Tetralogy of Fallot here, but the bottom line is that he still has a leaky pulmonary valve, which causes his heart’s right pumping chamber to have to pump a little harder than it otherwise would to pump more blood – both the backward-flowing leaked blood and the incoming blood from the heart’s right upper chamber. Imagine if you only worked out your right bicep muscle — it would become significantly larger than the left. That’s the same thing that can happen to the heart. Over time, the extra work can cause the pumping chamber to enlarge significantly and could lead to heart failure. It’s something we monitor annually, so the likelihood of it happening to Jake is slim, but there may come a day when that pulmonary valve has to be replaced. What does that have to do with caffeine? Caffeine elevates your heart rate and blood pressure, which also cause the heart to have to work harder than it normally does. I see no reason to make Jake’s heart work even harder, so that’s why I have been pretty adamant about the issue.

Enter energy drinks. And middle school. Energy drinks are marketed toward young people. Young people are easily swayed by marketing. And, peer pressure. Middle schoolers like to tease other middle schoolers, saying things like “oh, your Mommy doesn’t want you to drink caffeine” and other nonsense. Twelve year olds don’t generally worry about their mortality because they are 12. They also start to worry more about what their friends think than what their parents say. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Last December, Anais Delilah Fournie, a 14 year old girl in Maryland died after drinking 2 energy drinks. My understanding is that she didn’t drink them back to back — it was within a 24 hour period of time. Even so, those two drinks caused caffeine toxicity which basically overloaded her heart and it began to beat irregularly (cardiac arrhythmia). And, she died. Of a heart attack. At age 14. Here’s a clip from Anderson Cooper:

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Let’s talk about Caffeine toxicity. Toxicity refers to a degree of being toxic. Toxic = poison. As parents of young children, I imagine most of us taught our kids about Mr. Yuk — and locked away anything that might be remotely poisonous so that our kids would not get into them. Many of us may have even called that number on the Mr. Yuk sticker. I know I did at least once. We diligently follow the recommended dosing chart that our pediatricians give us to determine how much Tylenol we can safely give our kids based on their weight.

So, why on earth — now that they are older are we letting them put poison into their bodies? Is it that we aren’t educated about the dangers of large amounts of caffeine? Do we not know the caffeine content in these drinks? Do we not know what “safe” levels of caffeine consumption are? Are we convinced that they are safe because they are available to buy? Or are we unaware that our kids are drinking them?

As a parent, I call BS on “not knowing”. The facts are available to anyone who looks for them. Granted, we have learned some of this the hard way. When these drinks first began to come on the market, we did not have the knowledge that we do now. But, we do now. And, this is the United States of America and we have a 24 hour news cycle and internet access and smartphones and we just don’t have an excuse not to know. And, if you still don’t know, here are some facts:

  • A recent report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) shows that energy drinks pose potentially serious health risks. The report found that between 2005 – 2009, the number of emergency room (ER) visits due to energy drinks increased ten-fold from 1,128 to 13,114 visits.
  • 30 to 50 percent of adolescents report consuming energy drinks (in other words, that glossy advertising targeting young people works).
  • According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, adolescents should not consume more than 100mg of caffeine daily. One 16oz can of Monster contains 160mg of caffeine, which is equivalent to almost 5 cans of soda. However, this caffeine level does not account for caffeine from additives, like guarana, or ingredients with stimulating properties, like taurine and ginseng, which most energy drinks also contain. In other words, it’s impossible to know just how much caffeine is in those drinks. The labels reflect the MINIMUM amount of caffeine.
  • Consuming large quantities of caffeine can have serious health consequences, including caffeine toxicity, stroke, anxiety, arrhythmia, and in some cases death. Young people are especially susceptible to suffering adverse effects because energy drinks market to youth, their bodies are not accustomed to caffeine, and energy drinks contain high levels of caffeine and stimulating additives that may interact when used in combination.
  • The FDA has the authority to regulate caffeine levels in soft drinks to .02 percent or less of the product – about 71mg in a 12oz soda. The agency also has the authority to regulate additives in beverages to ensure they are safe for their intended use and when used in combination with other ingredients.
  • Most energy drinks are currently marketed as dietary supplements, therefore they do not need to establish evidence of their products’ safety or adhere to a limit on the level of caffeine. At the same time, many energy drinks come in single-use containers ranging from 8oz to 32oz and are marketed like beverages. Rockstar Energy Drink’s website says, “enjoy this fully refreshing lightly carbonated beverage.”

Responsibility #1 is on the part of parents. We need to educate ourselves. And, then we need to educate our kids. If we teach our kids to wear a seat belt and that smoking is bad for them and that they shouldn’t drink and drive, then we need to take this just as seriously (and while we’re at it, we need to tell them not to text and drive, but that’s another post entirely).

Then, we need to put pressure on the FDA to regulate these products. As stated in the Anderson Cooper clip, moms have power. Write a letter to the FDA, contact your representative — let them know that you are aware and you want regulation on these drinks. Don’t know the address? Here ya go:

The Honorable Margaret Hamburg
Commissioner
U.S. Food and Drug Administration
10903 Hampshire Avenue
Silver Spring, MD 20093

Don’t know who your representative is? You can find out here: Who is my Representative? There is also contact information for each of them once you’ve put your information into the search fields.

Don’t know what to say? Read this letter from Dick Durbin (D-IL). It’s full of good information and lays out exactly what lawmakers are asking of the FDA (and incidentally, most of the facts I listed above were taken from this press release).

And, if you’re reading this and still thinking, what is the big deal? Put yourself in Wendy’s shoes. She lost her daughter in a tragic turn of events that could have been prevented. You don’t want to ever be there. I promise. And, if you’ve read this post, you can’t claim you didn’t know.

The Sheep and the Goats

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Universal healthcare, lately refered to as “Obamacare”,  is a hot topic — especially during election years.  I am an unashamed, whole-hearted supporter.  I believe that access to affordable healthcare is a constitutional right — promised in the Declaration of Independence under “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.  So, when things  like this happen, it crushes me.

People should not be in an ambulance, critically injured — and worried about how expensive medical care is going to be.

I don’t know Luke personally, but we went to the same church .  I know who he is and we have mutual friends.  I have had the pleasure of hearing him perform and he is an amazingly gifted musician.

My heart is broken that his family has to worry about medical bills when their only focus should be his recovery.  Not only that, because he is self-employed, their income source is now cut off and they have to worry about daily bills as well.

It’s not okay.

This man works as hard as any of us who have the luxury of health insurance through our employers.  Maybe harder.  He made a choice to use his resources to buy health insurance for his daughter, because that’s what parents do.

It’s not okay.

It pisses me off that healthcare is politicized.  Affordable healthcare should not be a political issue.  It’s a humanitarian issue. We have a responsibility to take care of each other.  Stories like Luke’s happen every day.

It’s not okay.

In the end, we all need to think about the fact that many of us are just one freak accident away from losing everything…from being dependent on the kindness of friends…and perhaps strangers…to make ends meet.  Even those of us with “good insurance”.  Unless you’ve had to use your insurance, you don’t really know how good it is.  I know a little bit about using insurance and my guess is that you’d be surprised.

If you have a few dollars and want to help this family out — in what is sure to be a long journey — you can help out here.

 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’   (Matthew 25:34-40 ESV)

Old School Baseball, Rivalries and Sportsmanship

/ Stephanie / 3 Comments

It doesn’t help that my mood has been foul for about three days. But, there are a few things that are taking up a tremendous amount of space in my brain today. Since Twitter is generally where my evil twin hangs out, I have been trying to condense it all into 140 characters and there is just too much to say. I’ll just focus on one thing, as I tend to get long-winded. And to be honest, I wouldn’t normally be so worked up about this, were it not for the other stuff. So this might sound small and petty in the grander scheme of life, but it’s today’s brain dump.

The Phillies. I have never liked the Phillies, but I have never hated them either. In fact, the only MLB team I’ve ever really despised is the Yankees. Well, and the Braves. Mostly because I think the fans are arrogant and cocky. Yes, I’m generalizing. I met some really nice Yankees fans in Boston at a Red Sox game a couple of years ago. And, in March, I sat next to some really nice Yankee fans at a Nationals spring training game (although the Nats were playing the Mets, so that could have had something to do with it….) Anyway, when we moved here and I became a Nationals fan, I sort of laughed at the Phillies/Nationals rivalry. Mostly because I couldn’t understand the rivalry. The Phillies have been a dominant team, not only in the NL East, but in MLB in general. The Nationals haven’t. Now that I live here though, I know that the rivalry really is about more than baseball.

I went to Washington State University. I’m a lifelong Denver Broncos fan. I spent years in Seattle watching the Mariners struggle through terrible seasons. Sure, each of those teams has had success, but none of them have been dominant for very long. So, I get losing. I’m okay with it. It makes victory even sweeter, I think. And, as a result, I tend to root for the underdog when I don’t have a vested interest in the game. So, here I am, rooting for the underdog again. Pretty typical.

DC is an interesting place because in large part, everyone is “from” somewhere else. Often, the fans for the visiting team are the majority in the stadium. We experienced that in Phoenix, too — especially at Cardinals games. It’s the nature of a transient city. While I do have my favorite teams, I also have a “when in Rome” attitude, so we’ve generally always supported the hometown teams in the places we have lived.

Last year, I was given tickets to a suite by a colleague for one of the Nationals/Phillies games. We have come to expect that the stadium is usually packed with Phillies fans. And, this day was no exception. My 12 year old son and I were the only Nats fans in the suite. This would have been fine except that the Phillies fans were just plain rude. To my son. And, he wasn’t smack talking, he was simply cheering his team on. Even when they were down by a couple of runs, he was a good sport because that’s what he’s been taught to be. And when the Nats scored and took the lead, he didn’t get obnoxious. And when they won, he didn’t get in anyone’s face and scream “Phillies Suck!” No, that was behavior that I witnessed by adults in Phillies gear, who like to refer to Nats Stadium as Citizen’s Park South.

The Nats ended 2011 with 80 wins and 81 losses. There was one game that they never got to make up, so they conceivably could have finished with a .500 record. Regardless, it was a good season for a team that had been dismal in years past. The off-season proved fruitful and the fans have been excited for the new season which has started off very well. I have been around long enough to know that April doesn’t mean a lot in the larger scheme of things, but the fans were beginning to show up and stay longer and cheer louder. I’ve heard more than one person say that they have fallen in love with the Nats. And, that’s the thing that will keep fans coming back even when they get in a slump. It’s good for the team and it’s good for our city.

The marketing team came up with an idea to “Take Back the Park”, where you could pre-purchase tickets to the Phillies games only if you were from DC, MD and VA. Now, of course this didn’t mean that they weren’t going to allow any Phillies fans in the stadium (and certainly, there are plenty of them living in DC, MD and VA anyway)…but it served as encouragement for people to show up and support the home team. Additionally, the hashtag #Natitude was unveiled and the fans have embraced it. It also helps that Bryce Harper was called up from AAA and has been killing it on the field.

We have noticed a few Nationals fans getting a little cocky. A colleague of my husband’s talked some friendly smack before the Dodger games (he’s bled Dodger blue since he was a little boy). And, we saw what happened there. There’s a fine line between supporting your team and being obnoxious — and until you have a real record to stand on, it’s best to keep it low key because as any sports fan knows, anything can happen.

So, the Phillies get to town. Their fans are determined to make a showing. And, they do. And, they lose. Twice. Sunday comes and things start to get tense. Cole Hamels decided to send Bryce Harper a message and beaned him on his first at-bat. We all knew it was intentional, and he went on to admit it was. I’ve seen people praise the move, saying it was bad-ass and that Harper is arrogant and needs to respect the veterans. Bryce Harper, on the other hand, didn’t get rattled. He went on to steal home plate. Who’s the bad-ass now? Arrogant or not, kid can play. And everyone knows it. Hamels defended the move, saying he was just trying to get back to old school baseball.

What annoys me is how Phillies fans have gone on to react, insulting Nats fans, the #natitude hastag and the players in general. They cheered in the outfield when Jayson Werth broke his wrist. To me, it’s just all bad sportsmanship. It’s not a good example — by the players or the fans. And no…I didn’t like it when Zimmermann answered back. And, I’m not saying that all Nationals fans have had exemplary behavior either.

When asked about it, Harper simply said that “Hamels threw a great game tonight”.

My observation is that Harper is the one that showed class. The response I get from some Phillies fans is that I need to remember the record. Yes, the record is impressive. I’m not arguing with that. I’m talking about class, not records. I was then told that class doesn’t win division championships. Clearly not.

I do find it interesting that despite the records, this powerhouse team has only managed to beat the Nationals 3 out of the last 14 times they’ve played each other. Calling the Nats out as being pathetic doesn’t say much for the fact that they only seem to beat them about 20% of the time these days.

Look, I see nothing wrong with a rivalry. It can be fun. But, it can also make for a miserable time in the ballpark, especially when you’re trying to teach your kid some manners. If you really value old school baseball, how about going back to the days when the game was marked by a spirit of gentlemanly sportsmanship?

I respect die-hard fans, even if especially if their team isn’t that good. Baseball is about more than winning. There’s nothing better than a day at the yard. And there’s nothing wrong with some friendly smack talk. Come on out to #ourpark. Enjoy a half smoke and some Nationals hospitality (they are great fans). I’ll even buy you a beer, but only if you’re nice.

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Kick It

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This is one of those rare days when I post more than once.  Immediately upon hitting “Publish” on my last post, I read the news that Adam Yauch, aka MCA,  had died.

I actually got tears in my eyes.  I knew he was sick, and had been for quite some time.  But, I never actually considered the fact that he might die.

I’m not here to wax poetic about the musical legacy that Adam Yauch leaves behind or discuss how the Beastie Boys are the first white rap group of any importance.  That’s all true.

But, I’m just sad.

When Licensed to Ill hit in 1986, I was in high school.  I wore out a couple of cassettes during those years, went on to buy the CD and then the iTunes album.  To this day, I know just about every word to every song.  We sang “Fight for your Right to Party” at the top of our lungs at high school parties.  “Girls” was my favorite song. And, even though I didn’t really understand some of the lyrics in “She’s Crafty”, I remember a time when I definitely would have picked it to be my batter-up song. Everyone — no matter who you were — liked the Beastie Boys.  When the Beastie Boys were playing, we were all in the same posse.

To this day, it is a regular base song for my genius playlist for my runs.  And, I like to torture my 12 year old by playing the Beastie Boys in the car, loudly, and singing at the top of my lungs.

At the risk of sounding very cheesy, I think it’s safe to say that the children of the 80’s came of age with the Beastie Boys singing the sound-track.

RIP MCA.  I’ll drink a Brass Monkey in your memory tonight.  You will be missed.

10,000 words

/ Stephanie / 1 Comment

It’s been said that people have at least 10,000 words they have to get out every day.  Actually, I think that may actually be the number attributed to men.  Women have more like 20,000.  Twelve year olds have 100,000.

My husband and I joke sometimes that I must not have gotten my 10,000 words out some days because from the minute he walks in the door, I talk non-stop.  This is generally because these days, when so much of my work is accomplished by email, I don’t really get that many words out when I’m at work.  I’m not a chit-chatter at work…I don’t have time for it.  I work an abbreviated schedule, so I am constantly trying to get 8 hours of work done in 6 hours.  I can’t waste time talking about how big Jessica Simpson got during her pregnancy.  Occasionally, when my “ears gets tired” (the nice way that we ask Jake to just stop talking for 5 seconds), I will have a melt down and blurt out something along the lines of  “I hope you all gain 100 pounds when you get pregnant”.  Stuff like that usually  shuts everyone up and I can get back to work.  I know they are all then emailing each other that I am a lunatic, but I’m okay with that.  Someday, when they are 41 and the “old person” in the office, they will understand.

This morning, I was talking to Lloyd about something that was bugging me (shocking, I know).  He patiently listened as he shaved and when I was finished, he just looked at me from the mirror.  Then I said, “I know…you’re right”.

So, we have made it to the point where we no longer finish each others sentences, we just read each other’s mind instead.  Then he remarked that this is why old men don’t talk.  They don’t have to.

It’s also why women blog.  The words MUST.  GET.  OUT.

 

 

 

Romans 10:9 and my love/hate relationship with Christianity

/ Stephanie / 1 Comment

… because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9 ESV)

I have a love/hate relationship with Christianity. It goes something like this:

I love Jesus.

I hate that people say that one must to do something other than love Jesus in order to call themselves a Christian.

I love Jesus.

I hate that we categorize people as believers and non-believers, whom we must somehow save (or not). We forget that we don’t do the saving. God does. When we convince ourselves that we somehow have something to do with it, we are making ourselves God and that’s idolotry.

I love Jesus.

I hate that people act like they know for an absolute fact who gets into Heaven and who doesn’t. It’s as if they don’t believe that God has the power to accomplish something bigger than our minds can comprehend. Here’s an extreme example: Jeffery Dahmer in heaven? Not a chance, we say. And yet, he proclaimed himself to be a born-again Christian. We believe that Jesus performed countless miracles and was raised from the dead and yet we don’t believe that God can redeem the heart of a sinful man? At the core, that is unbelief in the gospel.

I love Jesus.

I hate that a Jesus-loving black man stood in my kitchen last week and told me that he’s been told before that because his skin is black, he is a child of Satan. There is no scripture that gives us a complete physical description of Jesus (except in Isaiah 53:2, it does say that he was rather average), but I am 99.99% sure that he doesn’t look like this:

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I love Jesus.

I hate that we use New Testament scripture as proof text as to why we are saved…and, we use Old Testament scripture as proof text as to why others aren’t. The Jesus we believe in, that we rejoice in his sacrifice and proclaim “He is Risen!” on Easter morning? He did that to fulfill those laws. Does it mean that we are to just go on sinning? No. But that is a whole study of Romans which could take months. My point is that we should be focusing on redemption and grace. Because, if we really are concerned about people, we aren’t going to do anything but drive them away by making them feel bad about themselves in Jesus’ name.

I love Jesus.

I hate that my faith gets questioned by people who think that Christians are of a certain political party. I have a whole diatribe on that, but I’ll just say that I can be a Democrat liberal and love Jesus at the same time. It makes perfect sense to me, but that’s another post for another day.

I love Jesus.

I hate that people suggest that science is in opposition to creation. If you believe that God created the universe, why is it so far fetched to believe that He used science to do it? We often refer to God as the Great Physician…why isn’t he also the Great Scientist?

I love Jesus.

I hate that we categorize sin. Sin is sin. It’s all in opposition to God and separates us from Him. Just because I can justify my act of anger toward somebody (clearly they acted a fool) doesn’t make it any less a sin than if I murdered somebody. Sound extreme? Read Matthew 5:21-22 and you’ll see what I mean. The point is not that if we get angry, we will go to hell. The point is that one sin is not bigger than the other. Still don’t buy it? Read James 2:10. Here, I’ll make it easy (but you should still look it up and not assume…)

For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. (James 2:10 ESV)

Nobody’s sin is bigger than anybody else’s. And when we start pointing out other people’s sin (which is SO easy to do), we raise the bar infinitely higher for ourselves. What these passages are telling us, in my opinion, is that we can’t do it on our own. That’s why we need a Savior. So, to get back to my original point, we spend too much time pointing out the sins of others instead of telling and SHOWING them the good news of Christ.

There’s a quote that many attribute to St. Francis of Assisi. It says “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary, use words”. There’s no proof that he actually said that, but I digress. It serves as arsenal for people who either want to call Christians out for the rubber not meeting the road or for those who don’t really want the burden of saying the word “Jesus” out loud in mixed company. I can call out both groups because I have landed in each one at various times in my life. I’m not proud of it, just being real. Anyway, I have heard many bible teachers that I respect greatly disagree with the sentiment, saying that we always need to use words…to do anything less would be lukewarm. I think that if all we do is use words, it can be pointless and counter-productive. I can’t just walk up to my agnostic co-worker and read scripture to him and ask if he wants to recite the sinner’s prayer now. Even *if* he didn’t tell me I was crazy and walk away, I would then have to Google a generic sinner’s prayer because I wouldn’t know anything about his life or his story in a way that would make that prayer at all meaningful. You see, I believe that you have to show the gospel in order to share the gospel. Showing it doesn’t absolve us from sharing it, but how do we build relationships otherwise? I don’t take parenting advice from people who I think are terrible parents. Why would I ask somebody about Jesus if I didn’t think they walked the walk?

So, instead, I do my best to follow what Jesus said in Matthew when asked “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36)

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 ESV)

Love God. Love People. No other rules or conditions. And, essentially, I think what verse 40 is saying is that the whole of the Law and Prophets (Old Testament) is dependent on these two commandments.  Think about it, if we all loved God and loved people, what purpose would a commandment not to murder even have?  There would be no murder.

If you are like me, the commandment to love our neighbors is overwhelming.  Because Jesus doesn’t tell us to love the people that we like.  Or love the people we agree with.  We are to love all people.  How on earth do we do that!?  Well, that’s why the first commandment is to love God.  I have found that when you love God, it is easier to love people. Not easy. Easier. And honestly, I find that it’s easier to love people who are not Christians because I don’t expect as much. And, then I realize that I’m putting conditions on them (the Christians) which is exactly what I’m irritated about in the first place.

This really started out as a pithy list I had going in my mind about why I hate religion. The truth is that I don’t really hate religion, there are a lot of good things about religion; but I think it can sometimes distract us from what our mission as Christians really is. And it’s not pithy. It’s complicated. And, it’s important.  But, sometimes I just can’t shake this thought from my mind:

Seriously.

I should note that I have many Christian friends who might read this and wonder if I am judging them. If I’m honest, perhaps I am. But, the way it plays out in my mind is how I am raising the bar for myself. So, it’s a self-reflection in that regard. On the other hand, I have many non-Christian friends who might read this and wonder if the only reason I’m friends with them is to convert them. No. In fact, you are the reasons why these thoughts begin to bounce around in my head. Why I examine my own interpretation of my faith and the scriptures. Why I am constantly trying to learn more, and in that process realize that there is so much I don’t know. Why I feel so strongly about loving the people whom God has seen fit to put in my life. Why I am content to let God be bigger than I can ever imagine. And in the process of knowing me, I pray that you might get a glimpse of the Jesus that I love. And, if you ever want to know about my faith, ask me. I’m an open book.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

/ Stephanie / 4 Comments

At my husband’s previous job, they made a big deal out of “Take Your Child to Work Day”.  So, Jake asked a couple of weeks ago if he could come with one of us to work.  I explained that his dad’s new job didn’t really do anything special and that he’d be bored stiff at my job.  Although I do have a bunch of filing that needs done and if he really wanted to, I would put him to work.  He thought for about .08 seconds and said no thanks.  Then, he sat up straight, eyes wide and smiling big and said “Can’t you just work from home that day?”

Nice try, Eddie Haskell.

It reminded me of a situation a few years ago when I did work from home.  Jake had come home from school and I told him that he needed to practice the piano. From upstairs, I could hear the piano playing and was really proud of how much time he was spending on it that day.  I went downstairs to tell him that and found him laying on the floor watching cartoons while our digital piano played his pieces over and over — with mistakes and corrections and all.

These are just a couple of reasons why I was not surprised at all when he was cast as Puck in the school play.  Child was born to play Puck.  He made another feeble attempt this morning at trying to convince me to take him to work.  When I told him that would include making lunches, he decided he would just go to school. 

And, then he walked off without his lunch.

The Gospel and Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes

/ Stephanie / 2 Comments

Let me start by saying that I am not a cook.  I can cook and I do manage to make some decent meals, thanks to cookbooks and other people’s recipes.  For the past several years, we have had groups of people meeting at our house regularly, so I’m always on the lookout for new things to serve.  I break a cardinal rule though and serve things that I’ve never actually made (or even tried) before I feed them to others.  Fortunately, this has never really been a problem.

The weekly meal started in Olympia as a group of people who all went to church together gathered weekly to share life with one another outside of Sunday worship. In the beginning, many of us didn’t even know each other at all — we just happened to live geographically close to one another.  Food has a way of bringing people together.  Think about it….put a group of strangers in a room together.  The extroverts will be able to do okay, but it can still be awkward.  If you are an introverted kind of person, it can be downright painful.  Put that same group of strangers in a room together and add food or beverages and it instantly  becomes a party.

When we began hosting these weekly gatherings, I used the meal as a way to protect myself…to give myself something to do and focus on because I am terrible at small talk.  As we all began to get to know one another more intimately, I began to really enjoy serving others, feeding them food they really enjoyed in a welcoming atmosphere.  This wasn’t a church “small group” per se, as we regularly invited friends and neighbors who didn’t necessarily go to our church — or to church at all.  And when we had new people join us, the meal was a much better ice breaker than any kind of cheesy ice-breaker game or question (although those do have value in certain situations).

You see, I believe that meals are a way to remind us of our daily need for God both on physical and spiritual level.  Jesus calls us to remember him and his sacrifice through a meal that Christians call communion.  Not only that, one of the first things Jesus does after being resurrected from the dead is to break bread with the disciples that he meets on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:30).  The next morning, when he appeared to the rest of the disciples, he asked them, “Have you anything here to eat?” (Luke 24-41b).   After he ate (they gave him broiled fish….), he went on to speak the most important truths of the Bible to them (read Luke 24:44-49 and you’ll see what I mean).  When we eat together, we commune around these truths.  The word itself is both a noun and a verb.  The noun refers to a group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities — a synonym being community.  The verb refers to sharing one’s intimate thoughts or feelings with someone — a synonym being to communicate or converse.  So the meal, to me, is a time that we nourish our bodies with food, but we also use that time to share our thoughts and feelings with other people, which leads to building a community.  And, in our fast food nation, I think this is somewhat lost on people.

In addition to eating, I think it’s important essential to celebrate God’s goodness and grace.  I desire to extravagantly bless others as a way to display God’s glory.  When I serve people, I want to serve them in the best way that I possibly can.  This might be by preparing an extravagant meal, opening the best bottle of wine or just knowing somebody’s favorite thing and serving that.  When you consider Jesus’ first miracle (John 2:1-11), it is significant that when Jesus turned the water into wine, it was the best wine.  When the disciples gave Jesus a piece of broiled fish back in Luke 24, it was probably the most extravagant thing they had.

Which brings me to the Maple Bacon Breakfast cupcakes.  We have brunch with a group of people on a monthly-ish basis.  Bacon is always a staple and it’s usually a topic of conversation — that is, how much everyone loves it.  So, when I saw Maple Bacon Breakfast Cupcakes on Pinterest recently, I knew that was my next brunch item.  I pinned it to my recipe board and when I went to make my shopping list, was dismayed to realize it was only a picture and there was no recipe.  So, I searched for a recipe that sounded do-able.  This morning, I got up early (not my favorite) and realized that we did not have any butter and had to change my plan.  I decided to use pancake batter for the “cupcake” portion, but was not sure it would rise, so it actually turned into a science project (also not my favorite).

Did I mention I’m not a cook?

For a second, I almost scrapped the entire project.  But, I was honestly driven out of my desire to provide something for this group that they would love.  To be extravagant.   To bless them.  So, I winged it.  And, they turned out fantastic.  Here’s the recipe:

Start by cooking up some bacon.  I wanted to use applewood smoked bacon, but we couldn’t find it.  I would definitely use thick sliced, premium bacon.  I think I did about 12 pieces.

2 cups pancake batter (it doesn’t matter what…I used some that I had bought in Mexico last month and never used.  I actually put it in a carry on bag to bring home and it wasn’t until the TSA Agent started looking at the seals that I thought maybe it was a bad idea….”Hi Dad?  I know I’m 41 years old, but I got arrested for having pancake batter in my carry-on.  And, I’m in Mexico.  I think they think it’s cocaine.  … Hello?…”)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

Sift the dry ingredients together.  I think sifting is important when using the batter, because it made them light and fluffy.

Then add the following to the dry ingredients:

1 cup milk

2 eggs

Bacon grease from the bacon you just fried.  This was an afterthought and I have no idea how much I used…maybe 2 tablespoons?

2 tablespoons maple syrup.  This was also an afterthought as I wanted the cupcake portion to have a sweet and savory quality.  I think it was the perfect amount, but I would make sure to use pure maple syrup for best results.  Grade B might even be better, but it’s hard to find sometimes.

Minced bacon.  I don’t know how much I used — maybe 1/2 cup?  It doesn’t matter.  It’s bacon.  More is better.

Mix all of these ingredients together enough to blend them but not too much.  Pour into cupcake papers and bake.  I experimented with the time….I have a convection oven that converts for me automatically. I put the first batch in at 350 for 18 minutes.  This converted to 325 for 16 minutes.  I watched them closely and ended up taking them out at about 13 minutes. I think all ovens are different, so  just keep an eye on them and use a toothpick to determine if they are done.

I ended up making 2 batches, which made 24 standard size cupcakes and an additional 12 mini cupcakes.

Maple Frosting – this is not my own recipe…I just found it online

1 stick of butter

2 cups powdered sugar

2 tablespoons maple syrup (again, I used Grade A, but Grade B might be better as it’s a little darker and has a richer flavor).

I topped them with a piece of bacon and voila!

 Peace to you.  And, be extravagant!